I'm relatively new to this and seeking some advice\support. My partne and I are relatively new (months), but she was in a long term relationship with a male before me (2years). He is totally on board although there is no relationship between him and I. Just her and him, and me and her. Everything was going great. We talk openly, we share insecurities, we all know what the agreed boundaries are withing each of our relationships and we have agreements that work for all of us.
However, last night my girlfriend decided to drop the bombshell that her and her boyfriend plan to get married in a few years. This was just part of general conversation, with her thinking that it had no effect on my relationships with her. But Im struggling with this. Although she lives with him and not me, I'm absolutely ok with this. But she's given so much reasurance that her two relationships are equally as meaningful to her and that she loves us both equally but in different ways. But that we are equal in terms of importance to her. But now she's said this, I can help but struggle with it. Im certain that if they get married it will completely change the dynamic between us. I won't be able to feel equally important. And I'm not sure I can watch the that all unfold. Like I think if they were married when we met, of course that would be ok because I would have gotten into this knowing that. Or even if it was in the process of happening when we met. But to decide to marry one partner when you have two? Does that feel ok? Has anyone else been through this? It seems a long time off, but I feel like I need to think about whether I can do that before I get in any deeper.
thanks in advance
However, last night my girlfriend decided to drop the bombshell that her and her boyfriend plan to get married in a few years. This was just part of general conversation, with her thinking that it had no effect on my relationships with her. But Im struggling with this. Although she lives with him and not me, I'm absolutely ok with this. But she's given so much reasurance that her two relationships are equally as meaningful to her and that she loves us both equally but in different ways. But that we are equal in terms of importance to her. But now she's said this, I can help but struggle with it. Im certain that if they get married it will completely change the dynamic between us. I won't be able to feel equally important. And I'm not sure I can watch the that all unfold. Like I think if they were married when we met, of course that would be ok because I would have gotten into this knowing that. Or even if it was in the process of happening when we met. But to decide to marry one partner when you have two? Does that feel ok? Has anyone else been through this? It seems a long time off, but I feel like I need to think about whether I can do that before I get in any deeper.
thanks in advance