Goal List

[abnormal]

I'm going to start seeing a therapist specializing in polyamory next Wednesday. I'm beyond excited. I've made a little goal list:

- Release old therapist energy. She didn't understand that poly isn't a choice and thought that because I'd come out to everyone I was no longer in need of a poly specialist.

- Learn about my new identity

- Accept being polyamorous

- Get brave enough to wear the shirt in public (I have a poly pride shirt with the flag on it; I want to get brave enough to wear it outside.)

- Attend a support group (?)

 

[Bobbi]

Start deconstructing the monogamy programming....that stuff is ingrained deep and will keep popping up unexpectedly.

Learn good communication and relationship management skills.

Become the best you you can be!

 

[abnormal]

Start deconstructing the monogamy programming....that stuff is ingrained deep and will keep popping up unexpectedly.

Can you elaborate? I feel like it's happened to me, but I can't think of any specific examples.

 

[Bobbi]

For me it popped up in my expectations when I got into a poly relationship. Escalator stuff, couple stuff, family stuff...there's just so much to bump into along the way and having a poly therapist will help you recognize it when it happens and help you work through it

 

[GalaGirl]

Good for you!

Remember the intake appointments are as much you learning about the counselor as the counselor learning about you and why you are here and what you hope to do.

Things you might put on your list...

• Without details, roughly how many other poly patients do you have experience with? Are they close to my age or close to my situation?
• What continued professional development do you do in this area so you are as up to date as possible?
• Have you read What Pyschology Professionals Should Know about Polyamory?
• Have you read Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients)
• What therapy modalities do you offer?

I hope the appointment goes well!

Galagirl

 

[abnormal]

I hope the appointment goes well!

Galagirl

Thank you. I'll add those questions to my collection of stuff for the appointment.

 

[abnormal]

For me it popped up in my expectations when I got into a poly relationship. Escalator stuff, couple stuff, family stuff...there's just so much to bump into along the way and having a poly therapist will help you recognize it when it happens and help you work through it

It's funny you describe it as bumping into walls, because that's how I've been describing discovering myself to my daughter. It's like being in a dark room with walls randomly placed throughout it and I keep running into them. I'm hoping the therapist will help me turn a few lights on.

 

[kdt26417]

Hi abnormal,

Good luck in your upcoming poly therapist appointment; that's super exciting.

Regards,
Kevin T.