Greetings from the Okanagan!

F

Fayky

New member
Hello all! We are a new poly couple from the Okanagan area in BC, Canada.

We love to write and perform music (you'll catch us most weekends at karaoke) and most importantly are madly in love with each other!

The girlfriend is very interested in finding another woman to bring into our loving relationship, so we are looking to meet and go on a fun date with someone desiring to join our amazing journey.

Thanks for the read, and hope you all have an amazing day!
 
Fayky said:
Hello all! We are a new poly couple... the girlfriend is very interested in finding another woman to bring into our loving relationship, so we are looking to meet and go on a fun date with someone desiring to join our amazing journey.
Click to expand...

Hi, since you posted this in Introductions, our rules allow me to warn you that that is not how polyamory works. You don't bring a new person "into" a relationship of 2. "The girlfriend" just wants a gf of her own. If you're looking for a hot bi babe who will be a willing sex and love partner for 2 of you, that will take magic. That's why they are called unicorns in polyamory. The chance you will somehow find a woman like that is about a million to one.

Read this to see why:

https://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html
 
Welcome to the Forum! Based on the text of your post, it looks like the male half of your partnership is posting. If you decide to join in the conversation, please include your name (real or fictional)- so we can know who we are talking to. Our guidelines state that each individual should have their own account. Unlike swinging, polyamory is not couple-centric so we are used to having conversations as individuals. That is not to say that many couples do not transition to poly - my wife and I did about three years ago, but in most cases, each partner dates individually. While this is contrast to the public perception of poly in which a couple hopes to find a bisexual girlfriend that they both can date together, in reality this is a very rare poly configuration - since the women who are willing to join a couple on an ongoing basis are so rare as to be known as "unicorns' (i.e., virtually mythical - although that is not to say that it never happens). There are numerous practical and ethical reasons for this - the following link is to a very intelligent and thoughtful article on this very subject:

https://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html

We do have a number of experienced poly folks here on the forum, so please do not hesitate to post thoughts or questions that you may have.

There are several good books available on the various aspects of poly but several of us believe that Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino to be the best general introduction to polyamory. (Available in hard copy or digital from Amazon et al.)

Also, here is is a link to a list of several of the best poly web sites:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191

Again, welcome!

Al

Edit: Apologies for the repeat of Magdlyn's info. Her post apparently appeared as I was typing mine. But - that's two votes for linked article on "unicorn hunting"! Again, welcome.
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the welcome!

My name is Kylan, and my girlfriend's name is Fay.

To clarify, I am happily committed to her as a person and a lover. While I would agree with the assessment that she wants a girlfriend of her own, we want the personal connection to be something we both share. I don't need a hot bi girl to sexually sastify me. I just want to help her explore her own desires.

It might perhaps be cliche but she is shy and doesn't know how to go about meeting women. My only intent was to show her I support her and wanted to help her become familiar with online communities of like minded people.

Thank you again for the replies, and have a wonderful evening!
 
Kylan - thanks for going a bit further into your story. Kudos for supporting your wife on her desire to explore a relationship with a woman. So if I'm hearing you right - you are not necessarily looking for an FMF 3some with a hot bi-babe - but just want to share and enjoy your wife's excitement with a new relationship. Kudos again, many believe that a partner's new relationships can enhance the existing relationship - either sexually, emotionally, or both. Hopefully this will prove true for you. (It was true for my wife and I, even in the beginning - when she had a boyfriend and I was yet to have another partner.)

Remember, though, that it is her relationship, no matter how much the two of you might talk about it - and you will be your wife's partner's metamour. Metamours sometimes are only aware that each other exist - sometimes they are best friends. My only advice would be to let your relationship with any of her new partners evolve naturally and hopefully you will come to have your own relationship with them as well (to whatever degree). The common wisdom seems to be that of the few successful FMF triads that do exist, the most stable ones are the ones the evolve naturally from an existing relationship with one of the partners.

Again, welcome - and best of luck on your journey.

Al
 
Greetings Kylan and Fay,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You are a very loving couple and you support each other. That's outstanding; I'm glad you're here. If there's anything I can do to help, or any questions I can answer, let me know.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Greetings from the Okanagan

Hi and welcome I love the whole Storm theme you guys have got going there. Youre inventing an Rp system? Thats awesome, must be difficult.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top