why is this applied to new relationships ?? and that being said did you ever think Vix might be dropping a hint ....I say that half jokingly however depending on the context of how this was handed off to you. And thinking of my how my wife approached various topics and subjects in hindsight might have been dropping hints or telegraphing a certain direction.
Well, this is more a topic for my long-neglected blog thread, but I think Vix's interest in the article came from another direction. . . or two.
First, she was dealing with the the tepid response of a guy who had seem very interested in her at first. The idea of letting go of it, not allowing herself to be hurt or dragged down by it, or obsessed about it, or any other such time-wasting nonsense really appealed to her, I think.
Second, she has been working through a lot of her own history that has been dragging her down, and turning toward being more active and positive in her life and in her relationships - including in her relationship with me.
I think the reason the "[Heck] Yes or No" thing mainly applies to new relationships is because that's where people most need to make quick decisions about how to invest their time, their energy, and their emotions.
In a long-established relationship like my marriage with Vix, those decisions were made, long ago. We do need to keep renewing and affirming that decision, and the terms in which we now make the decision are quite different from the terms in which we first made the decision to start spending time together, all those years ago.
We're in the middle of a long-term investment - and we've invested a lot in one another and in our life together, for good and for ill - and a momentary feeling of "meh" should not in itself be a basis on which to walk away from that investment.
Vix and I have talked about this, and underneath our struggles and hard times and winters of discontent is a resounding, reverberating YES!
