Hello everyone!

[ReinaDeLosTigres]

Hi! So I am in my 30’s and been married for over a decade. We got married young and have grown up together. I’ve always felt like I was poly but was definitely raised that monogamy was what you do so I pushed that aside. This made me not happy in my marriage for a long time & I made some mistakes.

Finally when I felt like I could be open about how I felt things got better. Initially I got into the poly world via my first boyfriend and girlfriend. It was all of our first poly relationship. We were all together for about 4 years, then they broke up & my boyfriend and I stayed together for a bit of time after that. My husband has not had a partner yet. Now it’s just me & my husband and we are kind of starting fresh. Trying to come up with some ground rules and things that we can do to make poly work for us.

I look forward to any advice you all having for making poly work in a long term marriage. How to find a supportive community. Any dos & dont’s, etc. Or anything else you think will be helpful. Thanks!

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings ReinaDeLosTigres,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I read your other post (in your other thread), and responded there briefly. To summarize, communication is the most important part of any poly relationship, well, second of course to mutual consent. So, make sure to communicate regularly with your husband. Always be honest and transparent. Ground rules are good, at least in the beginning. Be flexible enough to renegotiate any rules later on down the line. As for how to find a supportive community, here's some links that might help:

• https://fetlife.com/
• http://www.facebook.com/
• https://www.meetup.com/topics/polyamory/
• http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups
• http://openingup.net/resources/local-orginizations-u-s/
• Lists of local poly groups
• Meetings and Events

And you can google "polyamory" with the name of your state, or nearest major city. I also recommend this forum (Polyamory.com) as a sort of virtual community. You can find lots of support here. Read lots of threads, post regularly with a description of your evolving situation, and with any questions that may arise for you. It's good to have you with us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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