Welcome! I'm looking forward to looking for reading more about you and how things work for you all. It's an interesting configuration, and one I could see being really wonderful.
If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to hear how you all met up, and your current structure (do you date separately, etc.). Also, it's refreshing to see a bi male on the boards! I know that being bi can be stigmatized in general, but bi men often have a worse time of it. Thank you for sharing that with us, and presenting another side of the coin.
Thank you green acres for your comment and interest.
This whole thing may sound weird how it all began. Almost three years ago my wife and I who have been monogamous for 31 years decided to get into the swinging lifestyle. I know many poly folk kind of shun the swinging lifestyle and vice versa, but this is what brought us into being poly.
A little over three years ago we had a health scare with my wife that ended up not being more of a false alarm than anything. We decided we wanted to live life to the fullest and get as much as we could out of it as time is precious. At that same time we were both becoming more experimental sexually and we had a friend who had been in the lifestyle for many years. In talking we decided we wanted to give it a shot. We ended up hooking up with our friend and his girlfriend.
We dove into the swinging and really enjoyed it. In doing so we both had some really hot experiences and we pretty much did not leave anything off the table. This included get togethers with couples & some single bi guys, as I have always been openly bisexual with my wife, and she knew about my life prior to she and I getting together. So we continued to engage in play with others.
We had been in the lifestyle for about nine months and we discovered the Showtime series Polyamory and became intrigued with what it had to offer. We attended a few local poly meet up munches and got to talk to some folks who were poly and we also read The Ethical Slut. It turned out my wife discovered that she leaned towards poly more than swinging, but it all seemed very complicated and a lot of work, and on top of that there were no couples that were in our swinging circles that were into poly, especially since it is two different philosophies.
Back at the end of January of this year we met a couple through SLS and it started like most of our play partners. The male of the couple is 62 which is 12 years older than my wife, and the female of the couple is 33 which is 20 years younger than I am. We had gotten together a few times and things seemed different with this couple. Things started to progress very fast. I mean less than in three weeks, we decided to only see this couple exclusively. In doing so we kind of hurt our other playmates as we were seeing four other couples and a single guy on a semi regular basis .
We all fell heavy for each other, and pretty much proclaimed we all wanted to be poly and try and live as a quad as much as time and schedules would allow. With them only living two miles from us, it sure made things easier. So now the dynamic we have is they come over two nights a week and spend the night. She with me and him with my wife. We have a fairly large house so we can all have our privacy.
On our prospective days off, we each spend the day with our girlfriend/boyfriend, and do group things together on Sundays like shopping and various fun social things like going to the opera, concerts fine dinning, ect. We are all taking a vacation together at the end of this week which should be interesting.
Since this is all still new, I have not grasped the correct terminology for what we are or call each other so please bear with me on some future post.
I will say this has been fun and interesting , it has not been without issues and complications. So hopefully with being able to share here I can get some good advice on feelings, dealing with issues and the ugly monster jealously.
On a personal note, I seem to be the one with not always being able to get a grasp on how its all supposed to work.
