I am still recovering from the loss of my other female partner. Her husband now has a new partner but the chemistry is totally different (he's in love with her, but I am not, and neither is Darlene).
It's been a year, and we've tried to adjust, but it just doesn't work, so I guess we're going to have to let go and live with the memories of what we had for a while. It was wonderful while we had the 4 of us. We had something very special and very rare. Life happens, though, doesn't it?
Hi, Jack.
The I/we/he things are confusing. I assumed this is Jack posting. I edited your post to make it more about individuals, for clarity.
We strongly suggest that you name your partners and metamours in our Guidelines, rather than just saying "my wife," "my boyfriend" "my lover," "my partner's partner," etc. You can see how confusing that can be. I am going to suggest nicknames.
We have Jack.
We have Darlene.
We have your late female partner, Betty.
We have your (shared) male partner, Jared.
We have Jared's newish gf, Lucy.
So, Jared has a new female partner, Lucy. Is she local to him, but not local to you, Jack and Darlene?
You, Jack, and your wife, Darlene, have tried to establish an intimate relationship with Lucy, but neither of you are in love with her. And apparently, she isn't in love with either of you. Are there no fond feelings at all? Is there jealousy and competition? Is Jared moving to monogamy with Lucy?
Why is that? Does Lucy object to Jared continuing his relationship with the 2 of you? Is Jack OK with letting you, Jack, and Darlene, both go now?
Love is rare! Why is it necessary to let go of each other? Can't you at least still be good friends?