Hello from Kentucky

B

BlackWidow

New member
Hi, Y'all!

Greetings from Kentucky, land of "Closet Polys." People here dare not admit to ANY form of alternative lifestyle, so I follow them, and, for now am in the closet as well. :cool:

My husband and I just "opened up" our marriage in March, so we are both very new to this. I am seeing a man I've been in love with for years, but my husband is moving a bit slower, admirably. We will most likely not end up as a triad, but see other people independently of each other, like an "affair"?

The terminology is so new to me, forgive me if I get it wrong. He's the brilliant one who remembers all that stuff.

Being new to this world of Poly/Open relationships is certainly an experience in personal growth, as well as relationship growth and expansion. I'm loving every minute of it, even the hard stuff. It just seems so natural to be openly able to share your love with people. AFTER NEARLY 25 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, I think this is the change we need. He has secretly wished for this lifestyle for a very long while, but didn't want to hurt me or injure our relationship. WHAT A MAN, right!?

I'm seeing mostly younger folks on most of the information out there, so I just wonder (and I am NOT searching for a "date"!!) ARE there older folks like me (nearly 50!) who are new to this world?? Am I just a late bloomer!!

Shout out, Y'all!

Thanks!
BlackWidow
 
Greetings BlackWidow,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm a few years shy of 50, but have been officially poly since 2006. I'm pretty sure we have at least a handful of "late bloomers" who are active members.

Nobody thinks poly is an option at first; society teaches us that monogamy is the only good way to do romance. So no matter when you discover poly and embrace it, you are bursting out of the box.

Given a configuration where you have two main romantic connections (a husband and the other man), the two men are merely platonically associated with each other, and the three of you are free to "date around," I would call that an open V. You would be the "hinge" of the V. It would become a triad if the two men also developed a romantic connection with each other. Usually an affair is considered something we do without getting our original partner/s' consent, so I don't think that applies (even if you're all DADT about the "affairs").

Don't feel too bad about being "in the closet;" I'm (almost 100%) in the closet too.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you for the warm greeting, Kevin.

I don't feel bad, at all. I do wish society were more accepting of "out of the box thinkers"! Eventually, we will get there, if enough of us shower the others with love and acceptance. I believe strongly in the law of attraction and its' power to bring about global change for the good. :eek:

The biggest problem with the closet lifestyle is that it's difficult to connect with others, which is why I am here.

My amazing husband and I are slow movers, myself especially, and that is by design. I like it that way. Nature always takes it's course, and in just the right time.

I'm glad I've found the forum, and when DH returns home, I'll share the find with him. He'll love the forums !

Namaste,
BlackWIdow
 
Cool beans. :) And I definitely agree that love and example are the keys to growing a more poly-friendly society.
 
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