Hello, new here

A

Aifire

New member
Hi! Nice to meet you all!

I'm new here. I've spent the past few days browsing the forum, reading through rules and terms, and random posts. I decided to join this forum because I'm also new to polyamory and...I need to feel less alone in this.

So here's a little about me. I'm married, I've been in a relationship with my husband for 15 years and we have one child together. Things started for me when my best friend of many years, who I'll call B, admitted his feelings for me. It wasn't exactly a surprise, I'd always sensed there was something more between us. Even my husband (who is also friends with him) could tell. I talked to my husband about the possibility of opening our relationship.

After a lot of talking and research with my husband we decided to go for it, and so I started a relationship with B with his consent. We've been best friends for the past 6 years and dating for 2 months now. In that small amount of time of dating we've gone through some major ups and downs. I thought when I did the research into this that I was prepared, but experiencing the reality is so much more than any reading could prepare me for. I won't go into too much detail here since this is just my intro, but I'm hoping that I can gain some helpful knowledge as I browse around this forum. I'll probably have lots of questions I'll be asking in the future!
 
Hello and welcome to the forum!

Reading and research do only get you so far - but can lay a framework for "learning by doing"...so, good for you for doing your prep-work. Each relationship has its own learning curve (as you are experiencing), we trip over assumptions and expectations that we often don't even realize that we had.

This forum can be a great resource for learning how others have approached the hurdles that you come up against - but do realize that what works for some, does not work for others, and that only you and your partner(s) can determine what is right for you. (We are an opinionated bunch here at times - but please realize that there is NO "one true path" in poly, we all forge our own paths in life!)

Opening up a long-term monogamous relationship is a difficult endeavor - and one that frequently brings newcomers to the forum. When reading these threads it may seem that there is a lot of negative experiences (and outcomes) - but also be aware that people tend to come to the forums when they are having trouble and view these as tools to learn some of the common pitfalls to avoid.

Glad to have you, start asking questions!
 
Greetings Aifire,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Your situation reminds me a little of mine, I am in an MFM V (I am one of the legs). We had a rough go of it during our early years, but things got better and we learned a little at a time. You will too. You are wise to join this forum, read, and participate. There is so much to learn here. Don't hesitate to post any questions you may have, as well as your thoughts and feelings. We're here to help!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Belated thank you for the welcome everyone! Last couple months have been very busy. This is the first chance I've had to relax and catch up on online stuff. Things have been stabilizing in my life recently so I feel less stressed and worried but there are still some questions I've had lingering in my mind that I need to ask, which I'll do on a separate thread sometime soon. As mentioned by JaneQSmythe, opening a long-term monogamous relationship has been very difficult. The first couple months have been especially chaotic, we had a lot of missteps, confusion, and mistakes made. But we definitely learned a -lot- in the process and just like kdt26417 said we are adjusting a little at a time while we figure it all out. Everything is slowly getting better. I'm trying not to go into too much detail for now, I'll save it for another thread. Anyways thanks again, it really helps to have a place to talk about this as I have very few people (honestly outside of my two partners, no one) that I can confide in about this new part of my life.
 
Glad to hear things are gradually settling down for you ... and that the forum has been helpful so far. When you start your new thread, I recommend that you do it in Poly Relationships Corner ... as you will get the most responses there, from the widest range of people.

Any questions you have, we'll try to answer! :)
 
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