Hello

alwaysready1970

New member
Hey there, just found this forum and registered. Looking forward to reading and learning and chatting with like minded folks. I'm 50, married to a great gal for 20+ years, life is good. Dream of having a 3rd or more join us for the long term, just need to get my wife onboard. Monogamy is not for me:) So much love to share.
 
Greetings alwaysready1970,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It's great to have you aboard, you will find many like-minded individuals here, and will be able to have many enjoyable and edifying conversations with them. If you have any questions let us know; we're here to help. Also your wife can join too, if that will help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hey there, just found this forum and registered. Looking forward to reading and learning and chatting with like minded folks. I'm 50, married to a great gal for 20+ years, life is good. Dream of having a 3rd or more join us for the long term, just need to get my wife onboard. Monogamy is not for me:) So much love to share.

Hi and welcome to the forum. Please do a lot of reading and feel free to ask any questions you might have. I think you'll find polyamory is not what you think it is.
 
Greetings alwaysready1970,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It's great to have you aboard, you will find many like-minded individuals here, and will be able to have many enjoyable and edifying conversations with them. If you have any questions let us know; we're here to help. Also your wife can join too, if that will help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!


Thanks, I'm sure there will be a few on here that will be hard to get along with, like all forums. I'm hoping that most are open, honest and accepting of others opinions. There is no 'right' way to be poly, it can mean so many things to so many people. For me, the ultimate would be 3 or 4 people co-habitating, supporting each other and enjoying each other sexually. I'll probably never achieve my dream, but I can enjoy exploring and reading and chatting with others.
 
Care to explain what you mean by: I think you'll find polyamory is not what you think it is?

For me, the ultimate would be 3 or 4 people co-habitating, supporting each other and enjoying each other sexually. I'll probably never achieve my dream, but I can enjoy exploring and reading and chatting with others.

You just answered your own question, Sir.
 
Care to explain what you mean by: I think you'll find polyamory is not what you think it is.

As Mags alluded to, the dream is often not in line with reality. The common dream among mono men is to add another woman to their couple. Even though this is the model most commonly depicted in the media, it is a rare occurrence in real life. In order to be successful at poly, one must shed their mono conditioning. That is not an easy thing to do. Mistakes will be made along the way.

I'm not here to make proclamations about what is the right way or wrong way to be polyamorous. The best I can do is point out some possible pitfalls.
 
Hi alwaysready,

You're right, there is a wide range of possible poly arrangements, it sounds like your ideal would be a triad or quad. This isn't easy to attain, and you would need to get your wife onboard. However, you can always enjoy exploring and reading and chatting with others. Let me know if I can help.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Poly for me

Hi alwaysready,

You're right, there is a wide range of possible poly arrangements, it sounds like your ideal would be a triad or quad. This isn't easy to attain, and you would need to get your wife onboard. However, you can always enjoy exploring and reading and chatting with others. Let me know if I can help.

Regards,
Kevin T.

Thanks for your response, this is all new to me and my wife and I have chatting about my feelings, thoughts and desires. There is no "correct" way forward. All I know is that I have very strong feelings for 2 other women but love my wife very much and have no desire to cheat on her or leave her. For me, this is not about having a fling on the side. I would love to go for dinner with my wife and one of the other gals, the 3 of us together for a great evening. Sex is not the objective. I dream of going on vacation with my wife and another, simply enjoying ourselves together, laughing, going for dinner. Maybe it ends in 3way sex, maybe it doesn't.

So for now, I'm exploring, reading and learning about all this. I'm sure most will understand this. Cheers and thanks again for your comment:)
 
No problem, I think you have a really good attitude going forward, you do not want to cheat or leave your wife, you just want to share the love with one, possibly two other women. And love can involve a threesome, but it doesn't always have to be that way. You seem to understand that. Good luck and keep us posted on any new developments!
 
Hi alwaysready - and a belated welcome to the Forum! Please feel free to continue to join in the conversation - we will look forward to hearing more of your story.

As has been summarized already, there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with what you would like to achieve in terms of a poly configuration - it is just that it is actually quite rare in the poly community, despite the media-driven public perception that this is the "poly norm". But such configurations do obviously exist - even if few and far between. So we certainly wish you well in realizing the relationship style that most appeals to you.

You have spoken about your desire to have another woman join you and your wife - but have you considered how you would feel about your wife having a relationship with another man. This may never be the case, but even if not so now, it may come up in the future if you choose to transition your marriage to poly. Food for thought.

This is a link to a very well written, intelligent, and respectful article on the potential issues with "adding another woman" to a marriage - you might it helpful in your study and research.

https://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html

Also - a link to some of the best poly websites .

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191

Again, welcome - and we will look forward to reading more from you.

Al
 
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