I am sorry you struggle.
It could be that he has some core beliefs to work through.
http://www.kathylabriola.com/articl...nster-managing-jealousy-in-open-relationships
It could be that he simply prefers monogamous relating. Could be both... or something else.
But if you are basically are no longer compatible? Sad as that is, and even though you both will go through the stages of grief as your mourn the loss? It's better to end the romance and be ok being friends than for either of you to try to square peg/round hole just to avoid a break up and keep flying a thing that just won't fly any more. That just makes a mess. Put the health of the individuals ahead of the romance relationship shape.
You don't have to "lose" him from your life. You could allow the relationship shape between you to be the shape that fits best -- that of friends. That allows you both to be happy in the long run. You are free TO poly date that you want to explore. He is free FROM poly dating that he wants no part of. Nobody is "lost" to one another.
Give that you have been together since you were 16 -- would he be the first serious relationship break up for you? Is that where the fear of "losing him" is coming from?
I am a fan of looooong engagements. To me they end successfully in two ways:
The two persons talk over all the things they need to talk about, take the marriage prep classes at their house of worship, county extension office, online, or similar to make sure they really did talk about everything.
1) They come to find they are NOT compatible for life partnership. Then they end the engagement and part as friends sparing themselves the cost and heartache of wedding expenses, a wonky marriage from wonky foundations, and divorce costs.
2) They come to find they ARE compatible for life partnership. Then they end the engagement and begin planning a wedding and starting a marriage from solid foundations.
For sure don't get married till you sort this out.
Galagirl
It could be that he has some core beliefs to work through.
http://www.kathylabriola.com/articl...nster-managing-jealousy-in-open-relationships
It could be that he simply prefers monogamous relating. Could be both... or something else.
But if you are basically are no longer compatible? Sad as that is, and even though you both will go through the stages of grief as your mourn the loss? It's better to end the romance and be ok being friends than for either of you to try to square peg/round hole just to avoid a break up and keep flying a thing that just won't fly any more. That just makes a mess. Put the health of the individuals ahead of the romance relationship shape.
You don't have to "lose" him from your life. You could allow the relationship shape between you to be the shape that fits best -- that of friends. That allows you both to be happy in the long run. You are free TO poly date that you want to explore. He is free FROM poly dating that he wants no part of. Nobody is "lost" to one another.
Give that you have been together since you were 16 -- would he be the first serious relationship break up for you? Is that where the fear of "losing him" is coming from?
I am a fan of looooong engagements. To me they end successfully in two ways:
The two persons talk over all the things they need to talk about, take the marriage prep classes at their house of worship, county extension office, online, or similar to make sure they really did talk about everything.
1) They come to find they are NOT compatible for life partnership. Then they end the engagement and part as friends sparing themselves the cost and heartache of wedding expenses, a wonky marriage from wonky foundations, and divorce costs.
2) They come to find they ARE compatible for life partnership. Then they end the engagement and begin planning a wedding and starting a marriage from solid foundations.
For sure don't get married till you sort this out.
Galagirl
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