Update: I stressed over nothing, apparently. The relationship appears to have fizzled out...Blue found the DADT aspect exhausting, and Bronze was running hot/cold with Blue, so he ended it before either of them became more emotionally invested. He said she's more suited for monogamy and trying to fit her into his life wasn't working for either one.
We've clarified a few things as a result. I think we both are much clearer on what we do/don't want/will/won't accept.