Help!

M

meherandhim

New member
Hiya all!

I am 21 and have been in a long term relationship with my Fiance for the last 5 years. Like every couple, we have had our ups and down in that time, but we are overall very happy together. Until a couple of months ago.

When i got with my partner i had no idea that i was bisexual, let alone into Polymory. And a couple of months ago, i breached the subject that I was bisexual; which he was more than fine with at the time. But it was only when i started looking to find a female partner that I realised that I wanted something more than just sex with her...I wanted a relationship with her as well as my partner.

Now, being the honest person that I am, I told my fiance of this. And lets just say he wasnt as accepting of that part of me as he was the bisexual thing. Understandably, he is now saying that he feels as though i dont love him (which i do!), and that he feels like he isnt good enough for me. I understand fully where he comes from, but i cant help feeling the way i do.

We are trying to find a compromise that will enable us both to be happy, but we just dont seem to be getting anywhere. I dont want to lose him, but im scared that if i want to explore that side of me that is exactly what is going to happen. Ive tried just turning these thoughts and feelings off completely so we can go back to how we were, but I cant.*

Has anyone been in a similar situation at all? Im completely lost and in need of help!
 
Yes I was in your situation , as has many many women. My husband's only solution was that I find a unicorn to share. That didn't sit well with me, especially since he had a girlfriend himself at one point. Eventually I chose to leave and be with someone who didn't treat me like property. Choosing to stay with my ex meant that I would continue to like in a cage.
 
I have been with MrS since I was 18. He was the one who pointed out to me the I was bisexual. (I didn't disagree...just didn't know it was a "thing").

Although he was intrigued by the idea of a threesome/triad he did understand that neither of us could speak for a third person. So we always left it "Lady's Choice" as to whether we would involve him or not. (Mostly NOT, for the record.)

If you want more info about our conversations during this time, feel free to PM me.
 
Greetings meherandhim,

You may have some difficult decisions to make on the road ahead, if your fiancé decides he is absolutely against you having a relationship with another woman. It sounds like he doesn't mind if it's just sexual, but if it's an actual relationship then he sees it as a problem. Not every poly story has a happy ending. :(

It's possible that Franklin Veaux's Poly FAQ page may help. Have your fiancé have a look at it. And, explore Polyamory.com and see if you find anything here that might help.

I sympathize with your situation.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
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