Hi everyone!

[nicolegnosis]

Hi new friends! I'm excited to have found this resource as my husband and I navigate the scary and wonderful world of polyamory. There are so many questions I have and I'm looking forward to learning from all of your experiences.

A little background on me... I've been with my husband for 12 years (married for 6) and we got together VERY young. We are very much in love, but missed out on a lot of growing/romantic experiences by meeting when we did, so rather than making a choice about whether or not to be together, we've elected to open our relationship and allow each other to evolve as a couple and as individuals.

But polyamory is, naturally, an inherently private choice... it comes with a lot of questions and judgment from society, so we're keeping it quiet for now. But how do we have open conversations with potential partners about our situation, since this choice is all about transparency and honesty, without also exposing ourselves to our larger social networks? How do potential partners react to knowing that to be with either of us, they must share? Are we crazy for even thinking this way? Are others really open to the idea of expansive relationships, or is finding like-minded individuals like finding a needle in a haystack?

Looking forward to getting to know everyone and growing with this group!

~Nicole

 

[hyperskeptic]

Welcome to the forum!

I can very much relate to the kind of tightrope-walk you describe, trying to be open, but somehow not openly open, in a way that invites scrutiny and disapproval and shame . . . especially here in the South!

My own situation is similar to yours, though my wife and I had been married for 18 years when we first decided to let go of monogamy.

Speaking for myself, I've been learning that patience and modest expectations are the key.

There's no big hurry to reaching any particular goal. Just be open to people as people, as possible friends and companions in the world, and see what happens from there.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Nicole,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Have you tried any poly-friendly dating sites?

• https://en.lovoo.com/#/
• http://www.okcupid.com/
• http://www.beyondtwo.com/
• https://www.openminded.com/
• http://adultfriendfinder.com/
• http://www.polymatchmaker.com/

Are there any poly groups in your area?

• http://www.polygroups.com/
• http://polyamory.meetup.com/
• http://www.polyamory.org/SF/groups.html
• http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups
• http://openingup.net/resources/local-orginizations-u-s/

Googling "Atlanta polyamory" and "Georgia polyamory" may also help you find a local poly group.

You can also use FetLife to locate both poly groups and poly people. Worth trying out!

"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations

Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.

Hopefully there's some helpful ideas in the above suggestions. In the meantime, dig right into our site and see what interests you! and we'll try to answer your questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[goddess1337]

Hello Nicole!

I am new here too! But not new to polyamory itself or open relationships. I am not too far from you (West/Central Florida). I second what another poster said about patience and modest expectations. My husband and I still haven't found a lasting, good fit and it has been three years. I am hoping that with self-awareness, patience, and a positive attitude we will find a suitable relationship.

Wishing you well!