Hi from Anna

annabelle

New member
Hi everyone,

My name is Annabelle, but please call me Anna. I am coming here to meet and learn from other people that search past the societal norms of romantic relationships and find their own ways of being.

Originally coming from a very traditional small town, it has been a long journey to understand my sexuality and relationship style to the extent I do today. I am committed to continual growth and development in all areas of my life, so this part of it is not any different.

I recently discovered the term demisexual recently and felt a good deal of relief. I always said instead - 'I don't have casual sex' - which doesn't cover it at all. While I absolutely can be sexually attracted to strangers, I with very rare exception, do not get involved sexually with anyone I don't have a significant emotional connection with, and haven't had many lovers.

The man I have the had the deepest intimacy with is Winter. We have known one another since we were kids, practically. It's one of those types of things where we date, someone is married for awhile (me), then the other one is (him), then I go through a brutal divorce. Eventually we reconnect in our 30s, and that is when it becomes complicated.

Winter's marriage with Space Cadet has not been entirely 'traditional' and consistent with the general poor communication in their relationship, and the DADT-ish with rules, while maybe once made sense 20-some years ago when they got married, haven't been discussed and changed largely through that time, except maybe when I came into the picture. There was a time when I lived with Winter's wife and family in a poly situation I was really unhappy with.

The pandemic and lockdown, as for many people, has not been good for his relationship with Space Cadet, exposing all the cracks and weaknesses in their partnership. They are both working at home and trying to manage the kid's teleschool. He's not talking about it much except to say that Space Cadet is being extremely spacey and workaholic, even for her, and that being present for the kids has once again landed squarely in his lap. I dealt with her being this way myself back when I lived with them, although it had gotten better in more recent times.

For me haven't been satisfied with the status quo between Winters in a long time. The last time we met very recently, I told him I didn't know if I could continue if nothing changed and we had a bit of a discussion about it where he said he needed to think a bit, and asked me to do the same.

I'm not sure I would have expressed that pre-pandemic, but everything else is changing so rapidly, I guess so am I.

I have a ex-partner, Darwin, that I am friends with, but probably would not be so much is I weren't stuck at home all the time these days alone. I have another (ld) friend, Tex, that has evolved into a sort of virtual fwb situation at the beginning of the pandemic. He lives with Trix, and they are in an open relationship of sorts.

I have a lot of other changes I am making in my life career and financial etc too, and could really use support and friendship from other like-minded people, that I hope I might find here on this website.

I look forward to getting to know people here better.

Anna
 

madgrey

New member
Hi Anna!

Just wanted to say I feel you on the small town. I'm from a similar background, and it wasn't until my mid-twenties that I had any conception of a valid relationship beyond strict monogamy. I still struggle with mono-normative thinking at times. The social pressures to conform in a small, conservative town can be HUGE. That's something I don't think most lifelong city-dwellers fully comprehend.

And yeah, DADT-ish rules are not fun at all, especially when you're the outsider. It can feel like you're being swept under the rug. :(

Glad you have friends to connect with during the pandemic! That's so essential right now. Looking forward to reading more from you. :)
 

annabelle

New member
Hi Sarah,

Thanks for the welcome.

It sounds like we have a good amount in common, and looking forward to getting to know you better.
I decided to take this to a journal as my reply here became lengthy, so hope we can continue the discussion over there.
Now what do I call it? 🤔

Anna Xx

PS To everyone else, please come see me in my journal Anna Xx and comment/ask questions there!
 
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kdt26417

Official Greeter
Greetings Anna,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I looked at your blog post/thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, I just have sympathy for the challenges you are dealing with, I hope things improve as time goes on. I think you will find many like-minded folks here on this website, and if you have any questions I hope you won't hesitate to post them. We are a friendly bunch, although nutty at times, and we're always eager to help. I'm glad you could join us, and I hope you enjoy your stay.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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