New member

I've been poly for a few years, and for a few reasons. I think it's really more of a logical decision for me.

I met someone over 10 years ago, whom I dated for 5, who one day decides that they want to explore lesbianism, so we broke up and remained friends for another 5 years. Spending every day with someone who keeps you at arms length perpetually is incredibly draining. I want to be in relationships that are allowed to grow. So yeah, we're not friends anymore, it's a recent wound, and it's kind of hard on me.

I was also involved in a few long term, long distance relationships, some led to in person meetings, others didn't. Kinda sucks when you can pay for a visa and the government still won't let them visit you.

I'm also looking for someone, this ideal inside my head I guess. I don't wanna be alone for my entire life, but I also don't wanna give up on the notion that I can pursue a relationship with this unknown ideal person should I ever encounter them.

That said, I've never actually been with another person who was poly. It's always me being honest with them about what I want and how I am, and them putting up with it or trying to accept it. I was just thinking that maybe I should stop trying to swim up stream and instead spend some time with others who have a similar mindset.

I hope you'll welcome me warmly, I'm interesting in meeting someone new and I look forward to conversing with you all.

Current mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R09ofsC2-wU


New member

Welcome, I hope you find what you're looking for here. At 62 I hope that you decide to follow your dreams. At first I didn't realize that a poly life was possible and when I did I was already in a committed mono relationship. On the other hand I also believe that it's important to do what feels right for you so if that leads you away from poly I think that's OK as well.


New member
I appreciate it

Yeah, one way or another. This is what makes the most sense to me at the moment. Maybe it'll change one day, who knows. Though, as an engineer, it's hard for me to go back to a life where I'd have to build my life around one person and hope for the best. I mean I'm all for going all in, but sometimes things happen that are just out of your control completely. It doesn't make sense to pretend those scenarios don't occur. I really can't afford to feel so devastated.

At the same time, only having one life, I honestly think it would be a tragedy to just focus on myself or to throw myself into some distraction. Other humans are literally the best part of life. I want to spend my time with them, I don't wanna be alone.

Current mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA4qVVC05rs


Official Greeter
Greetings Remi,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You will definitely find like-minded people here, I encourage you to explore our various threads and boards, see what calls to you, read and post. I believe you have much to contribute, and you can receive help and friendship as well. There are resources as well beyond Polyamory.com, here are just a few:

"As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it."
-- SpaceHippieGeek, Polyamorous Percolations

You can also look for local poly groups in your area, see the above links, and/or google "polyamory" with the name of your state or nearest major city.

Going by your "current mood" links, good songs by the way, it seems to me that you have experienced significant pain from losing people, not being able to meet people in person, or not being able to meet poly people. You are taking the right first step in joining this forum, I encourage you to be an active participant, and to post your thoughts, feelings, and any questions you may have. It's tough with the pandemic going on, it is hard to meet people in person. With Polyamory.com, you can meet people online, and take it from there.

Kevin T., "official greeter"


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!


New member

I appreciate the welcome kdt.

Lots of potentially helpful information in your post, thanks for sharing it.

Pretty spot on about my mood. I'm glad you enjoyed the songs though :D

Music is probably what helps me the most when I'm alone. Helps me to understand the things I'm feeling, validates that the things I'm feeling are real because someone else felt it, and most importantly, helps me to avoid being a burden to people when my mood is kinda low.

The pandemic definitely isn't making connecting easier, but we persevere.

Thanks again for reaching out and sharing this wealth of information!