highlivin229
New member
So I'm married to M., who's 25, and with whom i have two small children, and also living with R., who's 21, African-American.
I wrote about my situation extensively here, but the thread got closed. Apparently I'm too perverse for this forum!
As I discussed back in May, I gave myself until the end of July to figure out what to do with R.: whether to proceed and have a child with her, or cut her loose.
Our arrangement has progressed very well. It has been rough on R. for an unexpected reason: M. (who is highly educated) has been helping R. by showing her what books to read, how to behave and dress in a manner that's more socially conservative, etc. How to fit in with a more educated crowd. What's happened is, R. has started feeling awkward around her own family, who are less well-educated. Very "Pygmalion" kind of situation.
Anyway, aside from this issue, R. is happy, M. is happy, the kids are happy, and everyone has adjusted to this new situation.
Also--and very interesting--my social set is aware that I am living with both women. There is a minority (exclusively women) who violently disapprove. They have gone so far as to cut off contact. But the vast majority of my social circle (+90%) has not had this reaction, and indeed, has accepted my living situation.
I present M. as "my wife" and R. as "my fiancée" or "my other wife". R. and I got white-gold wedding rings in July. I wear both the white-gold band and the yellow-gold (from my marriage to M.).
I think people are more sophisticated and accepting of peculiar or non-traditional household relationships. My social circle, however, is fairly educated and urbane. Perhaps it is the exception.
Anyway, we spent three weeks all together in a summer rental place; lovely. Everything went very well.
M. has told me she does not want any more children. I told her that I wanted more, and we left it at that. Though we haven't formally discussed it, she seems to be giving me tacit permission to make a child with R.
I'm concerned with the markets now. September promises to be a monster. So I'm thinking that I'll make it clear to R. that I want to continue our relationship in the direction that she wants (she wants to have my child). Assuming all goes well at work, we'll make the full-on effort in November.
That's the plan at this point. But all in all, after rereading what I wrote in previous posts, I have to say, things could not be better.
I wrote about my situation extensively here, but the thread got closed. Apparently I'm too perverse for this forum!
As I discussed back in May, I gave myself until the end of July to figure out what to do with R.: whether to proceed and have a child with her, or cut her loose.
Our arrangement has progressed very well. It has been rough on R. for an unexpected reason: M. (who is highly educated) has been helping R. by showing her what books to read, how to behave and dress in a manner that's more socially conservative, etc. How to fit in with a more educated crowd. What's happened is, R. has started feeling awkward around her own family, who are less well-educated. Very "Pygmalion" kind of situation.
Anyway, aside from this issue, R. is happy, M. is happy, the kids are happy, and everyone has adjusted to this new situation.
Also--and very interesting--my social set is aware that I am living with both women. There is a minority (exclusively women) who violently disapprove. They have gone so far as to cut off contact. But the vast majority of my social circle (+90%) has not had this reaction, and indeed, has accepted my living situation.
I present M. as "my wife" and R. as "my fiancée" or "my other wife". R. and I got white-gold wedding rings in July. I wear both the white-gold band and the yellow-gold (from my marriage to M.).
I think people are more sophisticated and accepting of peculiar or non-traditional household relationships. My social circle, however, is fairly educated and urbane. Perhaps it is the exception.
Anyway, we spent three weeks all together in a summer rental place; lovely. Everything went very well.
M. has told me she does not want any more children. I told her that I wanted more, and we left it at that. Though we haven't formally discussed it, she seems to be giving me tacit permission to make a child with R.
I'm concerned with the markets now. September promises to be a monster. So I'm thinking that I'll make it clear to R. that I want to continue our relationship in the direction that she wants (she wants to have my child). Assuming all goes well at work, we'll make the full-on effort in November.
That's the plan at this point. But all in all, after rereading what I wrote in previous posts, I have to say, things could not be better.
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