HIV diagnosis

S

skadhi

New member
SO told me today that he has resistant HIV. I'm just devastated. I know now days people live long lives with HIV. But still.

My own health isn't currently an issue because we haven't met in person since we realized we're in love with each other last year. But he's been my closest friend since we were teenagers. I'm just crushed that this happened.

We were supposed to meet about six months ago, when he was going to stay with us for a few days. But last minute emergency with a mutual friend prevented him being able to come.

I feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't even know how to process it. And I have plans tonight with dh that I can't really cancel, and I don't want to because I need to distraction anyway.

It's funny, because we'd already had discussions in the past about being safe, because he does also have sex with men. And he is/was on PREP.

I don't know I'm just rambling. I have a million things in my head and I can't put them together coherently. I think I'm going to call tomorrow and talk to a therapist about it. I need a safe place to get out my fear and anger.

I already told him it doesn't change anything between us. I have loved him in one way or another since I was 15 and that's not going to stop. And I know we can still be intimate in some ways, which we discussed.

But damn. This just totally fucking blows.

And with that, I'm going to try and have a good time with DH tonight. I'll back in later.
 
I'm sorry you have gotten such unhappy news! Of course it does not change your feelings about him. It is good that he has you to help him through this crisis and the coming years. I hope your own health improves, don't forget to care for yourself so as to handle things as best you can.

Leetah
 
Hi skadhi,

Sorry to hear about that diagnosis, that is truly devastating. I know it doesn't change everything, but it does change some things. I hope his quality of life isn't severely affected.

With sympathy,
Kevin T.
 
I'm so sorry for your stress. I hope you can take it easy on yourself.

He got HIV even though he was on PrEP?

That's happened to three men (confirmed cases) ever.

If someone told me that that had happened I would be very worried they are lying to me in one way or another.
 
I made an appointment with the therapist and another one for a local resource center. I didn't really sleep though. I did have a nice evening with dh last night.
 
Glad you had a nice evening with DH, I hope you get some sleep.
 
I saw my therapist and I feel a little better. I'm going to continue going for now because I'm stuck in denial and anger and I need to get to acceptance. I'm not mad at him, I'm mad a the circumstance. I feel like I was so close to the dream and mad that I didn't even get to see him and enjoy the moment of our reunion without this worry.

Plus my husband has had some very serious medical issues this year and another person close to me was recently diagnosed with cancer so it's just been a very heavy year.
 
Hi there,

I spend a lot of time counselling people who have just received a HIV diagnosis in my job. I am also a negative partner in a sero-discordant relationship.

Want to reassure you that there are a whole range of highly effective treatment option available for your partner. There are no strains of HIV which have such broad spectrum drug resistance that they don't responsive to treatment.

Once someone is on treatment for six months and has an undetectable viral load they cannot pass HIV on to a negative partner.

Medication is usually really well tolerated, with few to no side effects.

People living with HIV have normal healthy lives, with normal life spans these days.

It may seem scary now, but there is lots that can be done to keep him well and you well too.

It would be very rare indeed if your partner was taking PrEP consistently and still acquired HIV. But it would not be so rare if it were the case that he missed a few doses around the time that he acquired the virus.

Sending you warm thought. Pat x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top