H'ok So.....

The house appraisal just came in! We settled for a little over $15k less than what it appraised for, so that's great! And it also validated our opinion that the original asking price was way too high! Appraisal was about $15k UNDER their asking price.

Shit is getting real y'all!
 
Not much time to write a long entry. I'm finally feeling better after spending the weekend and early week feeling like crap. Mr. Hyde gave me a cold that he had when I saw him last week. He warned me up front that he was getting over a cold, but felt like he was on the mend. Guess he was still contagious! Luckily for me this is probably the mildest cold I've ever had in my life. I gave it to Sudo, but that means for him he coughed a few times and sniffled like.... twice, and was over it.

Things keep moving on the house stuff. We set up our insurance so that we're changing insurance companies and now combining our cars and houses onto the same policy! So both of us will have our insurance go down, and Sudo's house will switch to a landlord policy on his townhouse. So come closing day, my renter and car insurance will just get cancelled with my current company. Yay for saving money!

We managed to finally pick out our hardwood flooring as well for the new house, we just need to call the floor guy and order it. Hopefully Sudo can do that tonight before they close. We tried to call yesterday but we had snow here so I'm guessing they probably didn't open the store. Not looking forward to spending that money since that will probably end up being a $6-8k project.

This weekend I'll also add Sudo's name to my second bank account, which we will turn into the joint house account while we still maintain our own separate checking accounts. We also need to get to Costco so that I can be added to Sudo's membership and then be added to that credit card, so that will just become the joint expense card. So much to transition!

I've also posted a few things on craigslist to sell and continue to go through all of my stuff to see what can be gotten rid of before the move.

Oh! Speaking of the move, I'm now no longer moving 2 weeks after Sudo. We talked about it more and decided to just get it over with and move me the day after his house moves. So we'll do it all in 1 weekend. It's going to be bonkers. I think while Sudo is dealing with his house getting moved, I'll move the kitties and have them locked in the basement at the new house. Then the next day I'll move and it will be done. Peach, Joe, and Bug *might* come up that weekend to be around and help, but it's partly going to just depend on whether we think that will be too overwhelming to host them while we're moving the same weekend. Total madness!

Anyway, I gotta shut down here at work so I can get home. It's date night again with Mr. Hyde tonight since last week was really just a re-scheduling from the week before. So tonight we'll be back on our every other week schedule (until more stuff in the future probably hoses that up).
 
Lots going on, most of it moving related.

But first... date night with Mr. Hyde last night. He got to my place later than usual. Not until 9PM! He was dealing with getting his kiddos to bed and some other stuff, but we made the best of it and he was there till a little past midnight. This semester has been rather unfortunate in that he's generally gotten to my place later than I'd like, so it either means our date nights are a bit shorter than I would prefer, or it means that we're both staying up later than we'd both like. It just so happens that his kid's swimming lessons fall on the day of the week that we have date night, so it just means he's not getting to my place until like, 8 usually. Bah. But that won't last forever. Once his teaching semester ends we'll re-work the schedule again and hopefully there will be a day when he's not teaching (since I usually teaches day and evening classes 2 or 3 days a week) that ALSO doesn't have some other thing happening in the schedule so we can start meeting earlier, like 7ish, so then we can end the night at a reasonable time for both of us. At least, that certainly is our preference. But outside of that, the night was good. Sex was as great as it always is, and during our in-between-rounds cuddle session we just talked about his upcoming conference and the paper he's working on that he'll present there. So he was explaining the main point of the paper and Buddhism and ties between full body consciousness and other stuff. I honestly couldn't explain it back here if my life depended on it. What he told me made complete sense, but I'm not a philosopher, so the terminology is immediately lost in my shitty memory and I just can't properly describe it. But it was interesting to hear about it. And we joked that he probably has a way more wild and sex crazy spring break (since this week is the school's spring break) than his students. And he said that he already gets to see some of their shock when they learn things about him that they wouldn't expect, like that he plays banjo, or that he used to be in an industrial band back in the day that students will sometime manage to get their hands on the music of. All of that they then are just like "whaaaa?! and now he's a chill philosophy professor? *mind explosion* haha! So yeah, we had some good laughs with that. I mean, imagine if somehow the D/s thing got out?!

Anyway, today and this weekend are the days to get shit done. I called my cable company and scheduled the cut off of my service and date to return equipment next month. Tomorrow Sudo and I will go to my bank and get him added to my secondary checking account so we can make that the joint account, we'll go to the floor store and order the hardwood floors, go to Costco and get me added to his membership, and go to his and RCT's storage unit to order the lock to get cut (since they managed to lose the key). And at some point I need to probably do some work too. And we really should do more packing.

I also put a few things up on craigslist to sell that I don't need anymore. And I should start filling stuff in a box for good will too. I have lots of things like my grandma's old china, a crappy blender, crappy hand mixer, etc that I just don't need to keep and can be gotten rid of between now and moving day. And frankly, I'd rather get rid of it sooner than later so that I'm not scrambling to sort through stuff and make donation trips when I'm trying to pack.
 
Had what might be the last lazy weekend for quite some time. I mean, it wasn't totally lazy. Sudo and I did manage to pack a few boxes at his place, and then actually go out and get more boxes. We went through some things, looked up movers, which we just booked today, and some other odds and ends. But mostly Sat and Sun were spent not running around to different places. We had plans that we could have done, but we just didn't want to go out. Which made sense after having such a busy Fri. We got me added to the Costco membership, we spent several hours ordering our floors since the type we wanted wasn't available by when we needed, so then we had to basically re-look at floors and have the guy call around to see what was available and update us on pricing. So there went about $7k! eek! But we also got bank crap set up, did some grocery shopping, and all sorts of other errands. It was quite the busy day! We're very quickly moving toward the happy little (ok big) house!

Today I called and cancelled my renters and car insurance as of the dates that our new policies will kick in, so at least I get a partial refund for that. The movers are all booked now too, so it's just a matter of packing.

At this point, my bank just needs to get their shit together and finish the paperwork, and then it's settlement and paying a shit load of money, and then we're home owners and get to start ripping things apart....
 
Congratulations!!!!!! Exciting stuff :D
More remodel porn :D:D:D
 
Good news for me, interest rates dropped today so I was able to use my 1 free re-lock option and get the lower rate. This makes me happy since it's the rate I THOUGHT I was going to get... but rates increased I believe the same day or day before I called to lock them in. I was so frustrated with that! But now I'm gonna get what I wanted!

Of course, it makes like $12 of difference in the monthly payment, but at this point, it's the principle!

From recent messages from the title company and loan officer, it sounds like everything is on track at this point, and I sent in what I hope are the last few pieces of documentation yesterday and this morning.

I also talked to my brother a bit yesterday and it sounds like he'll be able to help with part of the floor installation, and he also has a few tools that we will probably need and can borrow so that we don't need to buy them.

In other news, the guy that I made out with on the work trip that I had last month found me on Linked in and messaged me. He's coming to DC, technically on a plane now, for a short work trip and asked if I felt like dinner or a drink or walk or something. So I think I'm going to try to make that happen tomorrow night. Sudo has some feels about that, but I think it has more to do with the fact that my last make-out with this guy wasn't at an ideal time. I don't want to make him miserable with my choices, but he also knows that he needs to work through his feels about my dating and flirting and things like that. So I guess it is what it is. He did at least say that he'd be fine, and I'm going to take his word at it. I certainly don't want to reinforce a double standard that we both know is there and don't like.
 
Date thingy with travel guy is postponed. Seems he had a dental cap come out and now has to be careful with it. Dental emergencies are just the worst! Anyway, he's already said that he's back in DC in late April, so I might be able to see him then. Though it will be right between my move and a cabin trip, so things might be too crazy. But I'll stay in touch with him anyway and see where things go. Not sure if this will turn into an out of town FWB or just an out of town booty call. Or maybe it will just be an out of town networking friend if we get together in the future and I'm just not feeling the physical thing. Seeing as I won't see him for a while, I'm not really going to worry myself over it right now!
 
Things are really moving along. Friday night Sudo and I headed up to his place for the weekend. We didn't get up there until later since Sudo got a last minute message toward the end of the work day from an OCK person he'd initiated contact with and she asked if he wanted to meet up for drinks after work. I told him that he should go and have some fun! I was busy packing my grandma's china and then just packing my crap for the weekend, so we didn't leave my place until probably 8pm anyway. He's not sure about the date thing. He had fun but said it kinda felt more friend-vibey and wasn't sure if ultimately they had enough in common, but meh, we'll see!

Saturday I had lunch plans for my supposedly monthly "girls' night." 3 of my friends from high school are all still semi-local (within like 1.5 hours) and when we were younger we would get together once a month and spend the night at each other's places and go out for dinner or drinks or make some plans and just hang out. Now that everyone is married and 2 of the 4 either have kids or are pregnant, we still call it "Girls' Night" but it is usually lunch or dinner plans, be that out somewhere or hanging out at someone's house for part of a day. But we don't really do the overnight thing usually because everyone is so busy. Anyway, we all did lunch and it was a fun time. One of the girls had her young son there and she and another of the girls are pregnant and both are having boys due around the same time. The 3rd of the girls (my sis in law) announced that her and my brother are moving, at least for the summer) to NC and are going to live with friends down there. It will basically be a trial run for my brother quitting his job (he's already dropped back to part time) and "retiring" and them potentially building a house down there. They had been planning to build last year but due to various reasons, put that on hold. So they're now making this sort of a baby step to see how they feel about it since originally it was going to result in so many huge life changes for them all at once.

When I got home from being out of town for a good chunk of the day, I ended up having a bit of a talk with Sudo. I had asked him to please be working on packing up the garage while I was gone because he really wanted to do most of that himself (I think because he knows that I'll want to get rid of stuff and do things differently than him....) so while I'm gone is the best time for him to do that. Well I got back and there were like.... 2 boxes packed. So of course, my initial gut reaction was anger. When I asked him about it, it turns out that he also did some yard work, threw down some grass seed (to use the last of it) cut back some plants that needed to be taken care of, sorted through some garage stuff, and also spent time cleaning up areas in the garage where there was evidence of a mouse. The mouse is probably dead since it looks like it managed to get into some poison all on its own. Anyway, After a bit, I talked to him and explained that I wasn't angry that he "didn't get much packed in the garage" but was frustrated that he couldn't be bothered to communicate any of this to me before I got home so that we were on the same page in terms of priorities. Sudo has a terrible habit of not listening to other people's priorities and instead determining what his priorities are and doing that instead. And in this case, his priorities were based off of what he found as he was going through garage stuff, so my whole point was that his priorities weren't wrong, but it's frustrating as hell to think that we're on the same page because I've asked "please do X" or "please have X done/worked on" and think that's going to happen and then come home to something completely different. It's about the shock of feeling like my priorities were ignored. In my mind, it takes a few minutes to send a simple text to just say "hi love, working on X and it turns out Y has come up, so I need to deal with that instead!" For someone who gives me crap about things like not being exact enough about my schedule (guessing that I think I'll probably be home around one time but misjudging and coming home an hour or 2 later but not letting him know), I see it as the same issue. But he's completely blind to that sort of thing. So we had the convo, in a calm manner, and I'm hoping that it helps. I know that he did the same thing with Peach all the time and she would get SO angry, but I'm not sure that she ever really put it into words and explained the issue the way I did. She tends to get angry about something but not necessarily explain in terms that connect with Sudo, why it's not ok. For me, this is also important if we want to eventually expand our D/s dynamic. It feels very much like having my "authority" dismissed. Were we doing something that was more like 24/7 D/s, I'd have considered it a punishable offense. So I think it also is just about making sure we're on the same page with communication so that our relationship and also our D/s dynamic run smoothly. I want Sudo to feel like he can speak up and say when he thinks plans or directions need to change and not be dismissed, but at the same time, without just disregarding me and whatever power exchange that we will have negotiated in our relationship as that grows.

Anyway, that minor bump aside, we did end up getting a good bit done this weekend. We spent Sunday packing more boxes and really focused on the kitchen. We went ahead and started boxing up things that we know we can live without for a while (small appliances, baking pans, etc) and also started a pile of things to get rid of as we combine households. There is also a pile of things for Peach to look at, so she can either take them or they will also go to a donation/junk pile.

Oh, and we got a new robot vacuum! Our last one started acting funny and was jamming up, even with trying to clean it out. So Anker took it back for free. They were out of that same model because they just released a newer model, so they gave us the newer model for free as a replacement! So far it as only run like twice, and of course I left the dang remote that is needed for the timed scheduling at Sudo's place, but it still seems to already be doing a better job than the first one. I think the newer model has a bit more suction and the brush is better. I'm just happy to have a working vacuum back that can keep the place fairly clean without having to pull the heavy duty vacuum out as often!
 
Final loan documents are approved so now it's just a matter of the bank and title company wrapping up the paperwork and giving me the final numbers so that I can send the settlement money to the title company! I'll get all of that sometime next week. The only last step before settlement is for us to do the final walk through, which will be either this Sunday evening, or we'll just go early next Friday morning on the way to settlement.

I guess I need to start packing some boxes this week!
 
I received the final disclosure. It's going to be really sad to have over $31k just disappear from my bank account in one day :( But I guess that's what happens when you buy a house. Sigh.

At least I'll own my own house now! Look at me all putting my big girl panties on! lol
 
It certainly is sad to have your bank account drop so drastically! But yay new house! Hope your closing goes smoothly!
 
Closing went off mostly smoothly. The only glitch was that it came up that the loan was set up with me being a first time MD home user so it changes how some of the taxes are applied at closing. Sudo isn't a first time home buyer and his name is on the title, but the mortgage is only in my name. So it brought up the question of whether I could still get it. I thought we had been given the ok, but whatever. So we're moving forward, and worst case the court when the title is filed says no and we have to pay in a bit more money. But otherwise, things are done!

So we went to the house and first thing we did was rip off all of that stupid wooden lattice crap that people put on windows to make it look like there are lots of smaller panes. We find it dated and don't want the view obstructed.

After that the floors got delivered!!



So then we started riding up carpet and taking apart the shelving in the bedrooms. Holy crap, the previous owners had a shit ton of custom built shelving in the closets and book cases. But since they all sit on the carpet, they have to come apart and be put back together after the flooring goes down.



That is all just shelving from ONE closet.

So in the course of like 7 hours we pulled carpet out of only 3 rooms (minus patches where some bits of shelving couldn't come down until we take over a step stool to reach where some wall brackets are). But basically, I'm sore, and tired, and there is still so much to do!



This is all the stuff we carried down that is going to the dump. Plus then all the shelving we had to set aside to save.

More to be done tomorrow!
 
More remodel porn! I am living my remodeling life vicariously through you and Bluebird.
I did my garden/yardette. It looks good and I can sit out in it when the sun is right and read a book.
I keep thinking about doing more but I spend my free money on travelling. :D I really enjoy seeing what motivated folks are doing with their homes.
 
I'm so stiff! My feet hurt and I'm wiped. But the good news is that all of the carpet and padding has been pulled up with the exception of 1 square at the top of the steps. And Sudo has pulled up all the staples with the exception of the master bedroom. Shit... As I type this I just remembered that the second master closet in the bathroom has carpet and I forgot about it. So I have to pull that up too.

Here's an updated pic of carpet mountain now that it has grown!



Part way through the day Sudo set up speakers plugged into his phone so we cranked some jams while we work. The rooms are all so big that with the carpet gone my voice really projects when I'm belting out some tunes!

We also realized this morning that we're going to spend a fortune on fixtures and switches and outlets. We went around and counted the outlets, switches, number and types of face plates (1, 2, or 3 switches) GFCI outlets vs standard, and which doorknobs need locks vs not, which have latches and which don't. ALL of the hardware in the house I brassy gold. I hate it!

There are 45 regular outlets and 9 outlets that either are or should be GFCI.

32 single light switchs
8 double switches
5 triple switches

2 toilet paper holders (that are brass and have to go)
2 towel bars
2 hand towel loops

7 wall or ceiling light fixtures
1 chandalier

8 1-sided door knows for closets and such
23 2-sided door knobs (some needs locks, some don't)
Plus the 2 exterior doors that we want to put key code entry locks on.

Holy shit. This is clearly going to just have to be a thing where we slowly replace stuff over time because this will take forever!!
 
Yep yep yep!

Remember that GFCI outlets work in sequence, so if one has it, they are all safe if on the same circuit. Or something like that - I am not an electrician, but we ended up not having to replace some because of something. Lol

Absolutely change out every single switch and outlet cover - it makes the room look better, for sure. Don't forget the trick of slipping a swatch with the name of the paint and the sheen under a switch cover in each room.

The pile of crappy brassy gold garbage I took out of my new house was HUGE. You can use metal spray paint on the bathroom fixtures if they aren't too ugly of a shape.

Lowes store credit cards give you an auto discount - 5% cash back. Home Depot doesn't. And you can find Lowes 10% off coupons everywhere.

We had to rout out every single door to make the new doorknobs fit. Sigh.
 
I've already started getting the 10% off coupons! I'll have to look into the GFCI sequence thingy. If we don't have to upgrade some of the outlets that would certainly save us some money, but also a bunch of time!

I will be so upset if we have to mess with the doors to get new knobs to fit. I would consider just picking different knobs at that point. Ugh. We have too many doors for that!

Not anything worth pics today. We got the last patch of carpet up and all the staples gone. The floor is officially ready to be vacuumed and then will be clean. We do need to put a few screws in squeaky spots, but I don't think there is a ton of that. But I'm back to work tomorrow and will take off Tues since my brother is coming over to help with floor installation that day. While he and Sudo work on floors, I'll be working on outlets and switches.

Speaking of, we dropped $360 (after the 10% off) at Lowe's today just on switches, outlets, covers, and timer switches (for bathroom fans). That doesn't include the over $300 we spent on Amazon getting 5 outlets that also have USB ports, new bed frame, and wall bracket to mount our new TV.

The hope is that we don't have to buy much more until next weekend when the credit card billing cycle renews. I know we can afford it all now, but we both prefer to keep a hefty buffer in the bank since an emergency fund is supposed to be several months of expenses and I don't want to use emergency funds on house projects. We still need to buy a lawn mower and weed whacker, all the damn door knobs, paint, pay the painter, and buy a new ceiling fan, half a dozen can lights, get a few essential blinds, and pay the movers. Ugh! Depending on how expensive the door knobs are, we may just put that off. I can't imagine that we're going to be able to get all of this stuff done in that amount of time anyway. Hell, we still have to finish packing our places!

New post about actual poly shit in just a moment!
 
So did I mention that Sudo had a date?!

Anyway, he got an Okc message (she messaged him, how cool?! Seems like men usually have to do all the initiating) last week and ended up having a somewhat impromptu date Thurs night, which worked well since I had date night with Mr. Hydrated, and frankly I was glad Sudo would have the distraction. We'll it turns out the date went super well since by the time Mr. Hyde left, Sudo's date was also just wrapping up!

He's been off and on telling me all about her over the weekend, but as it turns out, when he told me her name I realized that she had recently joined the private women's poly Facebook group that I'm in so I had already been commenting on her posts and such. Lol. Small world.

Anyway, so they've been taking all weekend over text and since she was free allmost all day today, she actually popped by the new house for 2 hours while we were there and we gave her the nickel tour (Maybe penny since the place is mostly empty with carpets ripped up!). I think more than anything it was a chance for her and I to meet and just introduce ourselves for reals. She was super nice though and from the little I got to know her, she seems cool to me. So she split for a quick appointment and we got back to work, but once we wrapped up at the house, I went to my place and dropped Sudo off at her place on the way since it was basically between my old and new place. So he'll be back home later tonight. I really hope they continue to hit it off! Not only do I want Sudo to be able to fully enjoy casually being poly in practice and be able to successfully meet and find partners, but I can't deny that I'm hoping him having another relationship might help ease some of his anxiety about my relationship with Mr. Hyde. Mainly because I know a big part of that is his frustration with how hard it is for him to find dates/partners vs me and the imbalance that creates. So yeah, some of my joy is selfish. Lol. But I do really want him to just be happy. And since new girl is happily married with kids and all that jazz, I also don't really feel like I need to worry that this person is some cowgirl trying to cause drama. Our only concern so far is that her and her husband are new to poly, which can have a whole different set of drama due to the learning curve. But she seems super smart, asks tons of questions, and sounds like they came into poly for good reasons trying to "fix" something. So those are all good signs! It def put Sudo at ease since he tends to be the one more cautious when it comes to new people.

Anyway, life is good, the polycule is good. Now if only work would be good and stop stressing me out with how crazy busy things are at the absolute worst time for me!!
 
OK, so this is a really shitty pic because the floors are covered in dust from sawing, so they just look hella scratched up... But at least you can see that we have flooring laid down in at least 1 room! Actually, from what I understand 1 room, part of the hall and part of another bedroom are done at this point. Progress!!



In other news, I replaced a ton of outlets and switches, but I need to redo some switches because we need 3 way switches and only got 2 way, so there are a few switches where 2 switches can control the same light.... But they don't cause I didn't have the right switch. Ugh. At least it's only handful of them that I have to redo... Chalk it up to learning I guess.

I'm having a rough day. Sudo and I stayed at our own places last night and haven't had sex in a few days due to exhaustion, but my work is also piling up and Ivm so busy that I canceled date night tomorrow with Mr. Hyde (he was apparently also so busy that he was going to send me a similar message). And I'm just missing all my partners and I actually just kinda silently cried a bit at my desk at work today. More of a stress cry and it was brief, but I'm just feeling overwhelmed.

In other news, things are going well with Sudo's new lady friend. They had sexy times the night he went to her place, which I assumed would happen. I felt fine about it, so it was actually somewhat of a relief to know I wasn't going to have bad feelings (since last time he slept with a partner it went really poorly due to miscommunication). Ivm trying to decide yet if it's weird or not for me to see her posts in our women's poly group about squee-ing over NRE or not. It's cute, and she's so sweet, so it's endearing and yet maybe it's just a minor part of me thinking "oh man, when am I just gonna stumble onto TMI?" lol. Either way, it's such a tiny thing. I think some of it is just the mental adjustment of poly and getting used to my partner for the first time in a long time having another romantic partner. Super happy for him, but it is a shift for us nonetheless. Of course maybe I can shoo him off on dates while I go out with my friends. Haha!
 
Oh, and we picked out paint colors for upstairs!! I've asked Sudo to snap a few pics before he leaves new house for the day, so I'll try to post the swatches later. But the hallways are going to be gray, the hall bath is going to be a deeper wine purple color I think (sadly our choices were limited since the counter is this horrible matte black with marbling). Our room is a dark blue, RCT's room is also a sort of masculine purple, and his daughter's room is a very light purple. We didn't pick a color for the guest room, and might just continue the gray in there. Same with the extra bedroom/unused room on the main level that is currently a horrific pink, that will just get the main gray just to get rid of the horrible pink. Well... or we'll do white since the carpet in that room is also a hideous pink and is sadly staying down for 1.5-2 years until we do the remodeling on the main floor. Writing this I was like "omg, my color choices sound horrible" but the swatches actually look really good. We had a friend over who is great at decorating to help us out since we all suck at the whole color/design thing.
 
Sooo.... having some poly feels about Sudo's new dating partner. They're not super strong feels, and I know they're really temporary as I adjust to so many changing things in our lives right now, but it's still distracting and just something I need to mentally work through.

I was a little bummed last night when after working at the new house all day, Sudo wanted to go see new girl on his way home and wouldn't get to my place until late, like midnight. I wasn't bummed that he wanted to see her. But I was supposed to have my date night with Mr. Hyde last night, and so originally I even suggested that he should see what she was doing and we could just both have date nights. Well I don't think they ever really agreed to anything other than him letting her know he might be free Thurs. Then I just got so overwhelmed with packing and work and needing to move pets, I had to cancel date night even though I really didn't want to. I didn't have any indication that Sudo had actually set up a date night though until he mentioned to me at like 8pm that new girl had asked if he could come over for a while when he was done working. So I think if anything I was probably just feeling a bit jealous? that he got to keep his date night even though I had to cancel mine. And hell, that was really just a minor feeling since I think the biggest part of my sad was that I really wanted to see Mr. Hyde and now I couldn't. And with as much as is going on, I'm not sure how long it will be until I can see him again. So really, I was just kinda sad. My rational brain knew I had plenty to do. I packed some boxes and was productive and then actually went to bed at a reasonable time. So it's not like I was just suffering all night. I just am missing Mr. Hyde I think :( Ultimately, I'm still happy that Sudo is clicking so well with new girl and they're enjoying seeing each other. It will be nice to continue on with a more kitchen table style poly and interact as metas.

But this whole thing with the last minute plan changing last night also has me wondering how Sudo dating will impact my/our sex life. I know that for me, dating multiple partners isn't an issue sexually because I have a high sex drive. I could happily have sex multiple times a day, no problem. Some guys are the same way. Hell, some guys have sex and within 15 minutes of orgasm are ready to go again. Others need a nice long recovery period... and that's Sudo. Even on the rare occasion where we DO have sex more than once a day, it's a weekend where we have sex in the morning and then in the evening. And that's pretty rare. So depending on how often he ultimately is seeing new girl once our schedules aren't all over the place, I'm thinking that those days are likely going to be days where I just don't get sex. That, or we need to have a convo such that he doesn't mind doing things for me. Realistically, I don't think he would. But even then, that only really applies on a weekend, cause if he's going to have a date night in the middle of the week, he wouldn't be home until I was in bed. So that still makes it a day where I'm on my own.

Granted... I have toys, I can take care of myself! I think I just need to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that we might have a bit less sex than we normally have. Frankly, that's sorta already been happening since we've both been so busy with everything going on, some nights we're just wiped out! But I don't want that to turn into a regular thing where that becomes the norm, and then sex decreases EVEN MORE because Sudo is already getting it elsewhere. Or I guess... if that happens, it's the type of thing that might cause me to be more interested in going on more dates or finding a casual partner.

And not all of this is on Sudo, it's on me too to make sure that we are prioritizing our sex life when we're both home. So I'm totally making a mental note that I need to make sure that happens. But I also need to just mentally be aware that it's ok for there to be temporary dips in sex lives when things are crazy and hectic! I absolutely know that this isn't entirely because of Sudo now dating another partner, so I'm trying to keep that in mind since I don't want to get caught up in that sort of thinking and have it impact our relationships. I don't think that it will.... more just, food for thought and something to not loose sight of!

Hmmm, maybe I should also use this as an excuse to break down and buy a magic wand too :p
 
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