How do you find poly people?

@SEASONEDpolyAgain That is not how I am. in fact my own view of my self is .... normally in the other direction, but thats not going to be discussed here.
In my mind, if I am having sex with a woman, that means she is important to me, I cant do the one night stand thing, it does not compute to me and I don't understand how other people can (I understand the reasons but not why its a reason) if there was another woman + they would be treated the same as Mrs Maple, meaning personal space constantly invaded for witty smart ass fun, jump scares, sneak attacks and the making of silly faces when they feel sad even if I look or sound like a fool, if I can make them smile, I could care less.

@Magdlyn Mrs Maple has said that she wants to explore things but is scared because of how some people in her family might react, her parents would not be the problem, it would be aunts uncles + on one side of her family because some of them are the more ..... up tight religious border line zealots.
She likes the idea of watching me, of her being watched and likes the softer skin of women and other things, but also gets embarrassed by that too. If she was an anime character, if you said Penis to her she would be the one that would blush and faint, but also be the secret sex freak when horney (In a good way)

If I was having sex with another person, I could not do it just because, they would have to be important to me just like Mrs Maple is, someone that I trust, respect and love.

Mrs Maple and I do have kids, I also have a step daughter from her too, being a dad to someone elses kids is not an issue to me at all and neither would having children together. I do not understand the idea of treating kids differently just because you did not partake in the creation of the child, I would teach, joke and be silly to a friends kids the same way I would to mine.

If the other woman wanted to have another person join in our family, because that is what it would be, its how I would treat it, the three of us would talk about it, find out who if there was someone in mind and take it step by step from there.

In the bedroom, Mrs Maple is my toy, its how she likes it. HOWEVER, if she said stop or even gave the indication of discomfort, playtime stops and I make sure that she is ok in any and every way before I even think of playing again, I am VERY concerned when someone is in pain or not having fun.

I asked Mrs Maple how many women would would be willing to accept, I expected her to say that she would only be ok with 1 person, but her literal words were "I could share you with two women, not sure if more." I had to make sure I heard her right and she knew what I actually asked. Yep she would not mind watching me having sex with two other women, the two women having sex together or having both of them in bed with her. I never expected her to say that. It turned her on a lot.

I have personally researched a bit of what are the Do's and Don'ts and talked to poly friends and this is the short version.

1: everyone has space to be who they are.
2: COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3: everyone is able to be 1 on 1 with each other, be it a date night or just hanging out
4: no master servant bull shit unless its some kind of a thing for everyone.
5: set rules that everyone agrees to.

There was more that he told me, him and his 2 wives (he calls them both his wife) started out with just him and his first wife, a good friend of his wife was in a bad situation, after a few months he came home to them in bed and they offered him to join them. He has kids with both women, full family normality just 2 women and one man.