how...
- Thread starter ashylove
- Start date
Okay, that was probably a stupid question. Um... is there any way to make it easier for them? Especially since it is insanely long distance, and they don't have normal ways of communicating. Right now they are just emailing and Facebooking. We want them to be at least comfortable as friends, especially since both of them are relatively just starting out and don't know what they want out of this yet.
AnnabelMore
Active member
Context is probably needed here. Does one or more of the four of you feel like the long-distance, could-maybe-become-a-couple pair needs to get to a certain point before the close-by, fast-becoming-a-couple pair can move forward? If so, why? If not, there's no reason to go slower than the commonsense guidelines for dealing with NRE like a sane person with other obligations would normally dictate.
redpepper
Active member
I agree with the suggestion of self control and respect. I don't see how distance would make a difference here, other than perhaps more patience with the limited communication you say you have between you all.
In terms of respect, to me, that means respecting boundaries, personality, the way they process information and emotions, considering them in decisions and arrangements, not texting your boyfriend madly every second of the day... that sort of thing. The thing with poly is that we don't get to act on our NRE every moment we feel it. If we were single, childless and mono, and starting a relationship, then usually people are able to dive right in. Most of us are used to that. But this is not monogamy, you aren't single, and there are a whole slew of people to consider. The good news is that NRE can last longer. As frustrating as that might be for your partners, it makes for fun times when you do get time to act on it.
In terms of respect, to me, that means respecting boundaries, personality, the way they process information and emotions, considering them in decisions and arrangements, not texting your boyfriend madly every second of the day... that sort of thing. The thing with poly is that we don't get to act on our NRE every moment we feel it. If we were single, childless and mono, and starting a relationship, then usually people are able to dive right in. Most of us are used to that. But this is not monogamy, you aren't single, and there are a whole slew of people to consider. The good news is that NRE can last longer. As frustrating as that might be for your partners, it makes for fun times when you do get time to act on it.