Howdy from DC

A

acutair

New member
Hi folks,

Just joined the forum and figured I should say "hi." :D

Long story short, I have tons of questions and concerns about opening my married relationship, something my wife has suggested. Sometimes I'm ok with it, but I'm still having a lot of problems at a gut level.

I wanted a place where I could talk to some folks about their experiences, and to share my feels (Ok, I wrote "feelings," but "feels" seemed cooler).

Any rate, cheers.

Andre
 
Greetings Andre,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Polyamory.com is a good place to air your feels ;) and get advice and support. There's a lot of collective wisdom here. Just let us know whatever questions you have.

There's some good books you can read ... "Opening Up" (by Tristan Taormino) and "Sex at Dawn" (by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá) might be of particular help for your situation.

Glad you could join our site.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thanks much, Kevin.

My wife bought "Opening Up" (which kinda kicked this open relationship thing into a higher gear, I guess). I've started to read it, and she'll be reading it, too.

I'll grab the "Sex and Dawn" book as well. I have a lot of questions, and certain amount of anxiety about this venture, so educating myself would be a great idea. I'll peruse the forum as well.

And at some point I'll have some specific questions. For now, I'm just really examining my feelings and motivations, so I'm kinda clear on what's happening.

Cheers,
Andre
 
Welcome! I live in Western Maryland, so howdy neighbor. :)

I recommend "More Than Two" as a terrific resource. I love it lots.

I am the hinge in a V and currently out and about in the dating scene and I've got lots of anxiety as well. However, I believe that I am doing what is best for me, so that helps.

Good luck!
 
We'll address your questions and concerns as soon as they come up. Your plan sounds good.
 
Thanks for the welcome, Bluebird - will definitely check out "More Than Two" as well. Being a vee sounds like it's non-stop attention all the time plus all the sex you can handle, right? :D J/K - I'm sure it's just as challenging a dynamic as any other relationship type.

Yes, Kevin: I plan to read a shitton before I start asking questions. I really just wanted to connect to a support group - so far, this seems like a good spot. :)
 
Heh, well a V does have its benefits. :) Though, yeah, it can also be challenging. Worth it though!
 
I'm just one of the arms/wings of a V ... and it's true my partner Snowbunny splits her time between me and her legal-lawful husband, but I still think I have a pretty sweet deal. :)

Perhaps that's one of the interesting things about poly, is the wide range of people and situations that it can accomodate. Though that doesn't mean it can do what monogamy does! I wouldn't want humanity to give up either relationship model.
 
Welcome! I am in NoVA, and I know there are some other here from our general area, in addition to Bluebird, as well. So, you've got a lot of neighbors to help you out with questions!
 
GreenAcres said:
Welcome! I am in NoVA, and I know there are some other here from our general area, in addition to Bluebird, as well. So, you've got a lot of neighbors to help you out with questions!
Click to expand...

Terrific - thanks! I assumed the more metropolitan areas would have a greater share of poly and poly-leaning folks, but I may be incorrect in that assumption. Good to know there's some friends nearby, regardless.
 
kdt26417 said:
Perhaps that's one of the interesting things about poly, is the wide range of people and situations that it can accomodate. Though that doesn't mean it can do what monogamy does! I wouldn't want humanity to give up either relationship model.
Click to expand...

You know, I'm really glad to hear that - that polyamory isn't THE ONLY WAY people should relate. Sometimes special interest forums feel a little dictatorial - "The '64 Charger is the ABSOLUTE BEST MUSCLE CAR BRO!" hahaha.

I'm not about a single viewpoint. I just think life is larger than that. :)
 
I'm also on one side of a V with my wife's GF on the other. Agree with Kevin that there is absolutely room for mono and poly relationship styles. The trick is not excluding one, but accepting both!

I'd also highly recommend "More Than Two". Heard Franklin Veaux (one of the two authors) speak at the Poly Living 2015 conference in Philadelphia couple of weeks ago. Passionate about poly, but very thoughtful and clear headed about all the things that contribute to a good relationship - poly or otherwise.
 
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