Hello everyone,
My name is Jon, and my long journey has finally led me to post in this forum. I am one half of a loving and committed married couple, that has so far withstood any challenge it has faced. I will post a bit of background, so if you're up for reading this, you may want to take a breath, as I can become long-winded (even typing). More than anything, I'm looking to find the appropriate forum, but am so new to this lifestyle, that I will gladly accept advice/direction from others.
Relationships were always a challenge for me, a combination of changing schools due to a loss in a family, combined with bouncing between multi-lingual educations while growing up in a foreign country, always made connecting with others challenging. On top of that, I was overweight, which brought its own unique set of insecurities. I spent most of my younger years, wishing for a relationship without ever daring to try for one.
My naive nature made me oblivious to the pleasure others around me were already experiencing, until my first real relationship when I was 17. After heading off to college, I would learn to become more comfortable around people, but still felt unhappy in my own skin. Luckily, my isolation provided the perfect fodder to delve into guitar, a hobby that quickly grew into my new love. I was invited to join my first band, began to socialize easier, and started to come out of my shell. A few years into it, I came across the angel that would change my life.
We had met through circumstance, but the connection was strong and immediate. She did everything she could to end the relationship but couldn't stand not talking to me once I broke off our daily contact (“friends don't talk every day, right?”). Within a few months, my place of residence had changed, and I'm writing this message from the basement of that very same house I moved into 13 years ago. In that time, we've had a child and married a few years ago, after a thorough test drive.
My wife is such an amazing woman. Before we were married, I was unfortunately diagnosed with a major disease, which has impacted every aspect of our life. She chose to stick by my side and sacrificed an easier life for an adventure with me. My disease is manageable but has advanced dramatically in recent years.
In contrast to my earlier annotation about myself, my wife is (and always was) a hottie. I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her. She was much more experienced than I was, which always stirred up my insecurities, eventually causing her to choose her words more carefully to save me unintended pain. Our life and marriage were good, outside of the bedroom. Inside, however, it had become balancing act. At first it only brought caution with words, but soon my disease began to encompass my own physical abilities, making even the simplest tasks more difficult. This began a slow, downward spiral in which we became more of a weight on our already strained relationship. Things weren’t horrible, but there was an underlying current of fear. Her being afraid of her own inability to find a strong attraction towards me, and me adding to that, a fear of her wanting/needing someone more capable in the sheets or at life.
After a few years of gradual buildup, our situation finally reached a crescendo a few months ago. A couple of intense weeks were spent arguing (trying our best to hide this from our daughter proved challenging, but we managed well), patching partially uncovered wounds, which would get again in the subsequent argument. I was swimming in my fear that I was witnessing the end of our glorious union. That is, until the last argument, when we both broke down and admitted our worst fears. We were emotionally naked, fully vulnerable to the worst possibilities. Each of us braced for the other to realize the fate of our relationship. When all was said and done, we held each other close, sighing relief into shoulders, trembling slightly but happy to be through it.
If there was a ray of sunshine with my disease, it was the weight-loss that came with it. Before I was diagnosed, I was determined to take better care of my body, having been prescribed high-blood pressure pills. Healthier eating started my weight-loss, but the disease accelerated it. After getting to a lower weight than I had wanted, a change in medication brought with it a much healthier sense of being, and to my wife’s pleasure, a more svelte me.
Unfortunately, it brought out an insecurity of hers, where she was afraid that the attention I was now able to garner might lead me to want to look elsewhere for the affection I had been craving. I, of course, tried to hide my pleasure of being on this side of the fence for the first time in my life. In that last fight, we admitted to each other how afraid we both were of being inadequate in the eyes of our lover. But to both of our surprise, a phone call to inquire about marriage counseling sparked conversations that were dormant, even non-existent throughout our time together.
Since that night, our communication has soared, and along with it, rekindled our passion for each other. While our sex life has always been sprinkled with intense 5 day stretches where we can’t get enough of each other, we’re now closing in on our second month straight of loving and wanting each other relentlessly.
In those weeks, we’ve become much more open about discussing our desires, and I’ve never felt closer to her. Our fantasies have begun incorporating other people (celebrities, fictitious characters), and again I was surprised at how little jealousy I felt at the thought of her pleasuring and being pleasured by someone other than myself. In the past, I had wrestled with the idea of being a cuckold but was turned off by that genre’s emphasis toward degradation and humiliation. Still the thought of watching her being pleasured was constantly racing through my head and causing stirring elsewhere.
I had delved into polyamory, researching the idea but coming away with an uneasy belief that I could not enjoy knowing that she was seeing someone else, enjoying time with them, while I wasn’t with her (after further research I began to see how limited my view of the lifestyle really was, which lead to this post). A few weeks ago, she caught me by surprise when she told me she would be ok if I was able to reach an easier climax with another person, a task that has become more and more difficult as a result of my affliction. I was floored…completely. Not at the idea of undertaking such a task, but more by her delivery of such a sensitive idea. I studied her face closely when I asked her to repeat what she had said. Without hesitation, or blinking, my wife told me how much it would please her to see me be pleasured to completion by another woman.
I searched her face for a bluff, for a hint of wanting to retract her words, but I found none. Her statement was honest, wrought with trepidation, but also filled with affection. Her conclusion, incorrect as it may be, was that I might be able to connect to another body physically, because perhaps her own was not enough. To anyone who has read so far let me assure you this statement could not be further from the truth. My wife is the most gorgeous creature I could have ever asked for, inside and out. Her hourglass figure is accentuated by wonderful ASSets, as well as other similarly complementary body parts. I am even more into her now, than at any time before, which is saying something.
She had mentioned in our more heated discussions, that her ability to find that spark for me had waned. After all, you can only find the same roller coaster new and exciting for so long. This choice of words stung me quite harshly when I first heard them, but that day, in that room, with her looking at me with love and understanding, I began to hear what she was saying. My retort at the time had been, “Why can’t we just add some loops to the ride and make it newer,” but I was unable to conjure more of an argument, since her statement was filled to the brim with truth. She was waiting for a response, somewhat relieved when I said, “I would love to see someone make love to you the way I would want to be able to do,” before adding, “but I would want to be present.” The latter part of that statement came quickly, unforced and full of pleading. To my happiness, she echoed the sentiment.
And that’s how we left it. While we’ve delved into this idea with more detail in the time since, we’ve never discussed that initial conversation. My mind had become consumed, and when it wasn’t busy with tasks, and sometimes even when it was supposed to be, my wife’s body kept creeping into my mind, in various stages of undress, being pleasured and catered to by myself and a shadowy stranger, sometimes more than one. Our bedroom talk has continued to reach a boiling point, and her lack of interest in me only coincides with the times both of our bodies are in need of a break. The other day, I asked her if the chances of our fantasies becoming reality were greater than zero. Her “Yes” came quickly, filled with high-pitched exuberance.
I’ve been trying to find like-minded stories online, but to no avail. Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong places? My wife and I are curious, but also quite cautious, as we’d like to be more comfortable before furthering such a risqué idea. We are adamant that we aren’t interested in being with others without each other being present. We would love to find someone to share our feelings with, which I believe would require more than a random hookup.
Sorry about the length of this post. If I knew what we were searching for, it would probably be shorter, but I wanted to cover the reason for my being here. Are there others who feel this way? Is this something else completely? Any help with this subject would be very helpful.
Thank you
My name is Jon, and my long journey has finally led me to post in this forum. I am one half of a loving and committed married couple, that has so far withstood any challenge it has faced. I will post a bit of background, so if you're up for reading this, you may want to take a breath, as I can become long-winded (even typing). More than anything, I'm looking to find the appropriate forum, but am so new to this lifestyle, that I will gladly accept advice/direction from others.
Relationships were always a challenge for me, a combination of changing schools due to a loss in a family, combined with bouncing between multi-lingual educations while growing up in a foreign country, always made connecting with others challenging. On top of that, I was overweight, which brought its own unique set of insecurities. I spent most of my younger years, wishing for a relationship without ever daring to try for one.
My naive nature made me oblivious to the pleasure others around me were already experiencing, until my first real relationship when I was 17. After heading off to college, I would learn to become more comfortable around people, but still felt unhappy in my own skin. Luckily, my isolation provided the perfect fodder to delve into guitar, a hobby that quickly grew into my new love. I was invited to join my first band, began to socialize easier, and started to come out of my shell. A few years into it, I came across the angel that would change my life.
We had met through circumstance, but the connection was strong and immediate. She did everything she could to end the relationship but couldn't stand not talking to me once I broke off our daily contact (“friends don't talk every day, right?”). Within a few months, my place of residence had changed, and I'm writing this message from the basement of that very same house I moved into 13 years ago. In that time, we've had a child and married a few years ago, after a thorough test drive.
My wife is such an amazing woman. Before we were married, I was unfortunately diagnosed with a major disease, which has impacted every aspect of our life. She chose to stick by my side and sacrificed an easier life for an adventure with me. My disease is manageable but has advanced dramatically in recent years.
In contrast to my earlier annotation about myself, my wife is (and always was) a hottie. I fell in love with her the moment I first saw her. She was much more experienced than I was, which always stirred up my insecurities, eventually causing her to choose her words more carefully to save me unintended pain. Our life and marriage were good, outside of the bedroom. Inside, however, it had become balancing act. At first it only brought caution with words, but soon my disease began to encompass my own physical abilities, making even the simplest tasks more difficult. This began a slow, downward spiral in which we became more of a weight on our already strained relationship. Things weren’t horrible, but there was an underlying current of fear. Her being afraid of her own inability to find a strong attraction towards me, and me adding to that, a fear of her wanting/needing someone more capable in the sheets or at life.
After a few years of gradual buildup, our situation finally reached a crescendo a few months ago. A couple of intense weeks were spent arguing (trying our best to hide this from our daughter proved challenging, but we managed well), patching partially uncovered wounds, which would get again in the subsequent argument. I was swimming in my fear that I was witnessing the end of our glorious union. That is, until the last argument, when we both broke down and admitted our worst fears. We were emotionally naked, fully vulnerable to the worst possibilities. Each of us braced for the other to realize the fate of our relationship. When all was said and done, we held each other close, sighing relief into shoulders, trembling slightly but happy to be through it.
If there was a ray of sunshine with my disease, it was the weight-loss that came with it. Before I was diagnosed, I was determined to take better care of my body, having been prescribed high-blood pressure pills. Healthier eating started my weight-loss, but the disease accelerated it. After getting to a lower weight than I had wanted, a change in medication brought with it a much healthier sense of being, and to my wife’s pleasure, a more svelte me.
Unfortunately, it brought out an insecurity of hers, where she was afraid that the attention I was now able to garner might lead me to want to look elsewhere for the affection I had been craving. I, of course, tried to hide my pleasure of being on this side of the fence for the first time in my life. In that last fight, we admitted to each other how afraid we both were of being inadequate in the eyes of our lover. But to both of our surprise, a phone call to inquire about marriage counseling sparked conversations that were dormant, even non-existent throughout our time together.
Since that night, our communication has soared, and along with it, rekindled our passion for each other. While our sex life has always been sprinkled with intense 5 day stretches where we can’t get enough of each other, we’re now closing in on our second month straight of loving and wanting each other relentlessly.
In those weeks, we’ve become much more open about discussing our desires, and I’ve never felt closer to her. Our fantasies have begun incorporating other people (celebrities, fictitious characters), and again I was surprised at how little jealousy I felt at the thought of her pleasuring and being pleasured by someone other than myself. In the past, I had wrestled with the idea of being a cuckold but was turned off by that genre’s emphasis toward degradation and humiliation. Still the thought of watching her being pleasured was constantly racing through my head and causing stirring elsewhere.
I had delved into polyamory, researching the idea but coming away with an uneasy belief that I could not enjoy knowing that she was seeing someone else, enjoying time with them, while I wasn’t with her (after further research I began to see how limited my view of the lifestyle really was, which lead to this post). A few weeks ago, she caught me by surprise when she told me she would be ok if I was able to reach an easier climax with another person, a task that has become more and more difficult as a result of my affliction. I was floored…completely. Not at the idea of undertaking such a task, but more by her delivery of such a sensitive idea. I studied her face closely when I asked her to repeat what she had said. Without hesitation, or blinking, my wife told me how much it would please her to see me be pleasured to completion by another woman.
I searched her face for a bluff, for a hint of wanting to retract her words, but I found none. Her statement was honest, wrought with trepidation, but also filled with affection. Her conclusion, incorrect as it may be, was that I might be able to connect to another body physically, because perhaps her own was not enough. To anyone who has read so far let me assure you this statement could not be further from the truth. My wife is the most gorgeous creature I could have ever asked for, inside and out. Her hourglass figure is accentuated by wonderful ASSets, as well as other similarly complementary body parts. I am even more into her now, than at any time before, which is saying something.
She had mentioned in our more heated discussions, that her ability to find that spark for me had waned. After all, you can only find the same roller coaster new and exciting for so long. This choice of words stung me quite harshly when I first heard them, but that day, in that room, with her looking at me with love and understanding, I began to hear what she was saying. My retort at the time had been, “Why can’t we just add some loops to the ride and make it newer,” but I was unable to conjure more of an argument, since her statement was filled to the brim with truth. She was waiting for a response, somewhat relieved when I said, “I would love to see someone make love to you the way I would want to be able to do,” before adding, “but I would want to be present.” The latter part of that statement came quickly, unforced and full of pleading. To my happiness, she echoed the sentiment.
And that’s how we left it. While we’ve delved into this idea with more detail in the time since, we’ve never discussed that initial conversation. My mind had become consumed, and when it wasn’t busy with tasks, and sometimes even when it was supposed to be, my wife’s body kept creeping into my mind, in various stages of undress, being pleasured and catered to by myself and a shadowy stranger, sometimes more than one. Our bedroom talk has continued to reach a boiling point, and her lack of interest in me only coincides with the times both of our bodies are in need of a break. The other day, I asked her if the chances of our fantasies becoming reality were greater than zero. Her “Yes” came quickly, filled with high-pitched exuberance.
I’ve been trying to find like-minded stories online, but to no avail. Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong places? My wife and I are curious, but also quite cautious, as we’d like to be more comfortable before furthering such a risqué idea. We are adamant that we aren’t interested in being with others without each other being present. We would love to find someone to share our feelings with, which I believe would require more than a random hookup.
Sorry about the length of this post. If I knew what we were searching for, it would probably be shorter, but I wanted to cover the reason for my being here. Are there others who feel this way? Is this something else completely? Any help with this subject would be very helpful.
Thank you
