So, after whining here a lot about why I can't come straight forward to my bf, I did it anyway.
It was hardest thing to do, and very emotional, depressing and all that.
But he said he will try to understand me, it will take time.
I even showed him some stuff to read about poly, he didn't like that, couldn't read between the lines, I explained, he asked not to show him again, then he went and read for himself, ask if I could just say that I love her but only as a friend I said I won't lie and you'd know I am lying and it is worse so what's the point.
I also finally realized that I love him a lot, more than I thought, but loving her doesn't change a thin between us.
Sometimes he goes out of no where and says "but how can you say you love someone else" and i have to explain that it is not someone else instead of you. Or when I say I love you and he say it back and then say "but not only me". And I say I love you a lot, etc.
I feel SO relieved after talking to him about that.
But at the same time I feel so bad like I am hurting him..
it makes me cry all the time (also because of other non-related stresses in life) but still.
what should I do? how should I behave? I don't want to say in a moment when I feel really bad about it that I take it all back..
It was hardest thing to do, and very emotional, depressing and all that.
But he said he will try to understand me, it will take time.
I even showed him some stuff to read about poly, he didn't like that, couldn't read between the lines, I explained, he asked not to show him again, then he went and read for himself, ask if I could just say that I love her but only as a friend I said I won't lie and you'd know I am lying and it is worse so what's the point.
I also finally realized that I love him a lot, more than I thought, but loving her doesn't change a thin between us.
Sometimes he goes out of no where and says "but how can you say you love someone else" and i have to explain that it is not someone else instead of you. Or when I say I love you and he say it back and then say "but not only me". And I say I love you a lot, etc.
I feel SO relieved after talking to him about that.
But at the same time I feel so bad like I am hurting him..
it makes me cry all the time (also because of other non-related stresses in life) but still.what should I do? how should I behave? I don't want to say in a moment when I feel really bad about it that I take it all back..
