I'm really sad...had lunch with my wife today.

I

ilovestrawberries

New member
So last night was the first without my wife in a while (she stayed at her own condo), and I went out and had fun. I almost felt guilty for enjoying myself but I felt free.

We had lunch today to talk about things some more and I found out she had TWO dates yesterday with two different guys. Just a reminder, she's a trans woman and was bi when we met, but I thought she was leaning towards being only with women until recently when she expressed guy cravings. I can't help it, but I'm really upset that she's with guys. It just frustrates me because I saw this coming a year ago when she began her transition.

We truly want different things...she wants a male partner and she wants to adopt a kid. I have ZERO interest in children and would never want to live with one OR with her and another partner. We also have different views about the world. Because of those things, we decided that the best thing would be to see each other less and to divorce and still be girlfriends. She's only going to stay at my place 3 nights/week now.

I'm really sad, but at the same time I think it's the best thing. I can't wait anymore for her trauma therapy to find out how she'll turn out. She may not even be poly forever, but I know she wants a kid and we want very different lifestyles.

:(
 
Last edited:
I am sorry you are sad, but glad you got out and felt free.

we decided that the best thing would be to see each other less and to divorce and still be girlfriends. She's only going to stay at my place 3 nights/week now.
Click to expand...

Sounds like the next thing to try then. Keep going.

Galagirl
 
thank you. :)

luckily I have therapy today in just a little while...I think I'll be ok long-term. It's just frustrating to me because she wants all these things, but with her trauma and PTSD and other mental conditions, I find it unlikely that she'll find someone else who can handle all of that. So then she might be alone, or with people who are just going to use her for sex. All of that when she has someone awesome right now who loves her...but I can't wait around for her to figure things out. And I can't "save her".
 
I think that if there is one thing that couples can never really compromise on, it's children. No one should have to compromise on that kind of choice, it's to big of a part of ones life for compromise.

That being said, until she finishes going through therapy and is sure she can be a stable parent, she shouldn't consider having kids. Hopefully she won't pursue adoption until she's made it through therapy and come out feeling stable.

I'm sorry you are loosing someone you care about. It's very mature of you both to accept this and move on, and to remain girlfriends.
 
I agree, she shouldn't be doing a lot of things
till she works out some more things in therapy,
but I am tired of trying to tell her that. So even if
someday she decides against kids, I can't wait
for that day.

Yeah I am glad she will still be in my life and I hope
things will be better after we scale back a lot.
 
and tonight I'm just sad...lying on the sofa and crying and cuddling my dog. She's coming over tomorrow night for 3 nights and I hope I can just enjoy her company without crying the whole time. I just feel depressed and I don't care about anything...like I don't even wanna watch tv or read or crochet or whatever else I do. I just want to go to bed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top