Infinity heart tattoo etiquette

[MtnPolyLoversX2]

I’m in a beautiful Triad relationship that’s been going very well and cheesy as it might be we went and got infinity Heart tattoos but out of all 3 mine is the most Basic so I’ll be going back in to get more detail , highlights , some shading (my skin doesn’t take color well) but I want to add some flair and get some opinions first

Every tattoo is and should be unique. I had the idea to add a Devils tail off the bottom and a Halo off the top / corner but I also don’t want it to seem or be viewed as I’m turning it into a “fetish”

Maybe I’m just WAY OVER THINKING it but hey welcome to my head having ADHD but last thing I want is maybe another Polyamarous couple , female , male seeing it and thinking “oh another guy that thinks he’s poly” . Make sense? Carry on

 

[fuchka]

Y'know I think your concern is spot on. I like the cheekiness of the halo & devil's tail but if I just saw that with the infinity symbol I would probably read it as more of a sex/fetish understanding of poly rather than someone necessarily into the ethical & -amory stuff.

That said, if your attitude in person is anything like what comes across in this post, you would certainly reassure anyone who talks with you that you're not a creep

 

[MtnPolyLoversX2]

Y'know I think your concern is spot on. I like the cheekiness of the halo & devil's tail but if I just saw that with the infinity symbol I would probably read it as more of a sex/fetish understanding of poly rather than someone necessarily into the ethical & -amory stuff.

That said, if your attitude in person is anything like what comes across in this post, you would certainly reassure anyone who talks with you that

Thank you! I’m glad someone else sees that concern and valid too. Cheeky yes but their already so many narrow minded folks towards Polyamarous men and women . Mixed opinions from our partners as well

 

[AlwaysGrowing]

Honestly, while the infinity heart IS widely recognized as a polyam symbol, it isn't THAT widely known outside of the nonmonogamous. A few years ago, a local church was using an infinity heart for "infinite love" and I've seen similar in other places online that aren't tied to polyamory or nonmonogamy in any way. So personalizing it like you want might actually distance the symbol from the concept in people's minds. Not sure if that's a problem or a con for you. Lol

As a person with an infinity heart tattoo? Do what you want with it. If someone doesn't like it and lets it affect how they treat you, then they're not that great of a person anyway. I don't love the idea, personally, but it's your body and your ink. I don't love tattoos in languages the person doesn't understand, of names of partners, etc either but people can do what they want.

I wouldn't think of it as a fetishized thing if you added an angel/devil aspect. It's just personalizing a common symbol, and like every (good) tattoo has meaning to the person sporting it.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello MtnPolyLoversX2,
It's been a while, good to hear from you again.

As an aside, congrats on your new triad relationship, I know for a while there you were having a bit of a frustrating time looking/waiting with all the "no men allowed" restrictions out there, and women thinking that poly meant you were just trying to "bone everybody." It sounds like your search finally bore fruit.

I am on the fence as to whether you should get a halo/devil's tail added to your tattoo. Sure there are some people that would misinterpret it, but at the same time it would look cool, I can see how it would blend in with what you have so far. Maybe the hope would be that people would ask you about it, and then you would have opportunity to explain it.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.

 

[MtnPolyLoversX2]

Hello MtnPolyLoversX2,
It's been a while, good to hear from you again.

As an aside, congrats on your new triad relationship, I know for a while there you were having a bit of a frustrating time looking/waiting with all the "no men allowed" restrictions out there, and women thinking that poly meant you were just trying to "bone everybody." It sounds like your search finally bore fruit.

I am on the fence as to whether you should get a halo/devil's tail added to your tattoo. Sure there are some people that would misinterpret it, but at the same time it would look cool, I can see how it would blend in with what you have so far. Maybe the hope would be that people would ask you about it, and then you would have opportunity to explain it.

Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.

Yes! And thank you! You are correct that was a frustrating time for myself well as I do believe a lot of other couples when their was a lot of turmoil going on in the world and I probably took it more personal than I should of but I won’t hide my faults and not pretend this is a perfect world but thank you for the warm Re-Welcome and it does seem patience , communication, honesty paid off

I definitely respect yours and all opinions. It’s a very valid thought about adding as some might assume “kinky flair” as we talked about in the past it’s fetishized by men and viewed as such by some women

BUT with that being said it’s Body art and I shouldn’t be ashamed to express myself in it even if it might cause some eye rolling . But on the other hand I didn’t want to be offensive to other Poly partnerships

 

[kdt26417]

You're certainly welcome. I think you handled your past situation just fine, it is perplexing that people have such odd biases and misconceptions.

As far as I am concerned, there is no special etiquette that you would be crossing by getting the halo/devil's tail flourish. I certainly wouldn't find it offensive. As long as the anticipated eye-rolling wouldn't bother you too much, you are probably good to go.

 

[Marcus]

If someone doesn't like it and lets it affect how they treat you, then they're not that great of a person anyway.

They are just pre-screening themselves from my perspective:

"I am a random and I have some kind of problem with your tattoo" - odd stranger​

"Thank you for self-identifying as someone I don't want to associate with" - Me​