Introducing SO to monogamous friends

O

Orlandobif

Member
My poly friends bring different partners to different group events and sometimes the network is a little complicated but I rarely take much note of who is affectionate with whom. Then I find out they have been dating a year. “Oh?” Then I get the isn’t it obvious look.

Because dating or coupling by itself is not a barrier to my affections nor important to my friendships I don’t need clear relationship lines in poly circles. Maybe whether I like them and how they treat each other matters more. But, when I introduce my partners to accepting monogamous friends I expect there is a discomfort.

I am curious to hear guesses or experiences as to why they are uncomfortable.
 
Part of me believes they are just jealous that they are stuck in some banal mono existence :D

It can be hard for some mono people to really wrap their head around poly. It goes against everything they've been conditioned to believe. So there you are, challenging what they believe to be the "natural way".
 
I think the main situation where it would be uncomfortable, would be where the monogamous friend didn't like polyamory and was opposed to it. If the monogamous friend was poly-friendly, they would probably be cool with meeting an OSO.
 
My only close monogamous friend was really awkward around Boy the first 4 or 5 times she met him. It was essentially for the same reasons a monogamous person is uncomfortable when they hear their partner is poly. It's confusing. It seems weird. They don't understand why someone else feels differently about relationship structure/attraction. It takes less time to accept it for someone else's life, but they still have to go through the same process as any monogamous person faced with polyamory.
 
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