Is my “poly” relationship a fraud?

[Amygdala]

Wow—thank you for all your careful responses. We in fact do not have a set of rules or boundaries set up officially, which seems to be because we have never crossed any with each other the eight years we have dated/been married. I guess it’s time for some! I think I will ask her to see a couples counselor with me—once Covid-19 is over!! Thank you again. I want to take more time to respond and discuss, but I also have a tendency to put a lot down—online more than real life!

We too never had to discuss rules and boundaries in 11 odd years. We were and are, highly compatible. Once we started to open the marriage we did a lot of book learning and coming up with scenarios we though could arise and seeing how we felt about them.

wasn't always smooth sailing... they can be some brutally hard honest conversations

Look for a 'sex positive' counselor familiar with non monogamy.