Is there anything I can do?

DrugAlong

New member
How do I confront my husband about a woman he swears he isn't with/seeing/etc? She has been awful to me, is not really great to him, and has been trying to come between us for months. I have expressed my concerns and how I feel. I has said he understands and has broken up with her several times and they end up together again. He is currently adamantly saying they are done but there are things that speak to the opposite of that. He deny her to me, does not speak of her to others that he is trying to get to know, I just don't get it. I know my feelings about her are well known, but I am at his side as he is looking for another woman in his life. I am being supportive and open. I just don't know what to do.
 
Communicate some more - inform him of your doubts. Tell him what those things are that still seem to point to his involvement with her. Say that you want to believe and trust him but the evidence keeps piling up against what he is telling you. Let him know you want to be his ally in this but there are still problems present that you need clarity on, and ask him to explain the specific things that you are seeing, and why it seems they are still seeing each other.
 
I am sorry you deal in this. Do you think she's a cowgirl?

Could ask him to clarify his willingness to stop behaviors.

"I am not sure where you are at. I am getting mixed messages. You say that you and her are done. I see/observe these things. (List the things). That makes it seem like you are not done. Could you be willing to stop those behaviors? And do X instead?"​

Galagirl
 
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Thank you both. I have taken the suggestions and used them. The conversation was calm. He said the same things again, that they are not together, they are done. He also said I got rid of her because you wanted me to and when you bring it up it hurts. I will be trying to put my trust in him again. I just hope it is true. Yes, I believe she is a cowgirl. I have for many months.
 
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