Daddysboogerbaby
New member
My husband and I opened our marriage just a few months shy of 3 years ago. We realized fairly quickly that we are/can be poly. We love it. We get our needs met by being with multiple people. Even more of a plus if we all get along greatly. If not then it's workable, to a certain extent.
The issue...we seem to get attached to nonpoly/mono folk. Thing is, these people have stated beforehand that they ARE poly. We think, AWESOME it'll work out this time. No it doesn't. It ends brutally. Hearts broken and major letdowns.
Husband's first gf, stated she was definitely poly. Had some poly background. Not much but neither did we. NRE took over and suddenly she wants a mono relationship with him and to boot me out of the picture. Complete with telling some of the local poly peeps that my husband was gunna leave me for her!
His second gf, they just recently broke up. She also had a poly background(more than the first gf did actually) Once again NRE escalates and the mono side comes out. To the point that she tells hubby he should basically divorce me to be with her.
My bf. Stated he was poly. Didn't have a poly background but I gave it a shot. Everything was spectacular. Until my husband follows 2nd gfs advice about a divorce.
Divorce didn't happen, we reconciled and are back on track with a healthy relationship. Bf doesn't like how much my husband hurt me emotionally during that period and suddenly a switch flipped and he says he is no longer poly and wants mono with me. Even after I have stated multiple times that I cannot do that. The thought of another man touching me in an intimate way repulses and angers him.
WTF are we doing wrong? These people stated they were poly. Some with poly backgrounds! We are tired of putting our love, feelings, time, energy, hearts and emotions into these relationships and getting blindsided with a mono outcome!
The issue...we seem to get attached to nonpoly/mono folk. Thing is, these people have stated beforehand that they ARE poly. We think, AWESOME it'll work out this time. No it doesn't. It ends brutally. Hearts broken and major letdowns.
Husband's first gf, stated she was definitely poly. Had some poly background. Not much but neither did we. NRE took over and suddenly she wants a mono relationship with him and to boot me out of the picture. Complete with telling some of the local poly peeps that my husband was gunna leave me for her!
His second gf, they just recently broke up. She also had a poly background(more than the first gf did actually) Once again NRE escalates and the mono side comes out. To the point that she tells hubby he should basically divorce me to be with her.
My bf. Stated he was poly. Didn't have a poly background but I gave it a shot. Everything was spectacular. Until my husband follows 2nd gfs advice about a divorce.
Divorce didn't happen, we reconciled and are back on track with a healthy relationship. Bf doesn't like how much my husband hurt me emotionally during that period and suddenly a switch flipped and he says he is no longer poly and wants mono with me. Even after I have stated multiple times that I cannot do that. The thought of another man touching me in an intimate way repulses and angers him.
WTF are we doing wrong? These people stated they were poly. Some with poly backgrounds! We are tired of putting our love, feelings, time, energy, hearts and emotions into these relationships and getting blindsided with a mono outcome!
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