Is this bullshit? Guys help

Evean

New member
Hi guys,there is this girl living in the same apartments that i stay.She took my phone number from her female friend,she is 26 & i'm 22.She once texted me at an early stage of our friendship when i hardly knew her,about wanting something more,but i told her that i don't know about that already.Maybe she was reading my mind.Again,i once confessed to her that i have a crash on her after we'd at least known each other,but she texted "i see" & she finally replied that "ill not say this again,we r friends". Recently when we were together,i told her that: her personality is great & that i love her company & that if she was younger than me,i would date her & never leave her.She went silent for a while & then she showed me a picture of her kid which i hardly knew,& she went on & showed me her family photos including her pics on her phone album.She also mentioned her boyfriend that she normally cries when she misses him.Lately ive been reading her body language,& it seem she kinda likes me.At the same time,she acts differently.She has started coming to my room oftenly without knocking,but she doesn't stay for long.I know that girls are different & the cues they show are sometimes neutral.I wish i could explain more,but i think this is enough for you guys to imagine the situation.I'm trying to decode her body language & i'm not sure on what to conclude,i don't know what to think.What honest thing can i do? Or what do you guys think?
 
What honest thing can i do? Or what do you guys think?

I'm not positive this forum will be a great resource for this kind of stuff. This forum is dedicated to polyamory or at least polyamory adjacent topics. There are probably 'dating' forums that could be helpful to you?
 
I'm not sure what this has to do with polyamory.

I'll guess. I might guess wrong.

i once confessed to her that i have a crash on her after we'd at least known each other,but she texted "i see" & she finally replied that "ill not say this again,we r friends".

Sounds like she wants to be friends only. Respect that, and work to let the crush on her go.

Recently when we were together,i told her that: her personality is great & that i love her company & that if she was younger than me,i would date her & never leave her.

Why would you say things like this to someone who you already know only wants to be friends? That is inappropriate behavior. That is also not letting you crush on her go.

she went on & showed me her family photos including her pics on her phone album.She also mentioned her boyfriend that she normally cries when she misses him

Sounds like she's lonely. And you are handy since you live in the same building so she comes looking for company or interaction. Which would be apppropriate if you were able to be her friend.

What honest thing can i do? Or what do you guys think?

I think you might not able to be her friend at this time because you have a crush on her still.

If you are still harboring a crush on her and these extra interactions with her is going to make it hard for you to let the crush go? You keep "reading between the lines" hoping you see crush things back from her? Then you may need to be around her LESS, not MORE.

  • I suggest you tell her you to please knock at the door and not just barge into your room. That is not respectful.
  • I suggest you tell her that you respect she only wants to be friends, but you cannot be friends right now. You need some time apart first to process your feelings and get over being disappointed she doesn't return the crush.
  • I suggest you encourage her to reach out to her other friends, her family, and her BF is she's lonely instead of you.

Then she can find the company she seeks.

And you can have peace from these conflicting thoughts/wonderings and become able to get past the crush.

Galagirl
 
Last edited:
Hi Evean,

It sounds like this girl's body language is sending you mixed messages. For that reason I would rely on what she says out loud to tell you what to expect. She has said that you and she are friends, and she's said that she won't say that again. You have a crush on her, so, I think you may be doing some wishful thinking here. Seeing things in her body language that aren't there. I suppose you could tell her, "If you want to be more than friends sometime let me know; in the meantime I'm assuming we're just friends." Then the ball is in her court.

Hope that helps,
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
It really sounds like she is lonely and wants a friend. If you are happy to just be friends, if you are happy to have a completely non-sexual or non-romantic relationship, then do that.

If not, then don't hold on hoping that she will want you. She has given you some very clear signals that she is not interested.

Body language is incredibly easy to misinterpret- I know a lot of the things my guy friends see as 'being interested' my girl friends will see as 'being friendly' or 'being friends'. It is very common for a guy to think a girl is 'into him' when she is just literally getting more comfortable with being friends.
 
Back
Top