Is this whole poly thing right for me?

So you are on different pages for what model of open relationship you are each seeking. And you would like some behaviors from him before/after his other dates to reconnect and catch back up that he is not currently demonstrating.

And you have not yet determined if the pain of having him in your life is better or not than the pain of not having him in your life as a romantic partner.

Is there anything else?

I think that last one is what you could answer first. Some choices in life are not win/lose but, "This stinks. That stinks. Which stinks least?" Maybe being his friend only rather than his dating partner is healthier for you.

GG
 
Yeah, that basically sounds like it. Is there anything else? Yes. I've lost sight of what I want out of being poly, which is variety of lovers and people to date and community. I need to reconnect to this. I'm starting to go on dates, too. I am having more get togethers with friends, poly or not. I'm focusing more on the things that I'm working on in life, like starting my own business and losing weight and other things. I'm cuddling with my cats more. And it's really helping to take my mind off of this whole situation. Not forget it, but not go crazy over it.

Someone here in the poly community suggested that I should really focus on these things and work on being secure in other aspects of my life, or at least, as secure as I can be. That is, focusing on friends, career, health, spirituality, supportive community, etc. And that having a solid "base" that help me feel that life is rewarding and that I can feel good about myself...And I think that's really key.

So, thanks everyone for replying and helping me through this and think about these things in different ways. It's definitely not over or solved, but I'm feeling better. :)
 
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