Just a litltle about us

[Tiller]

Good day to all of you! I am excited to find this forum as my wife and I are very new to all of this and would like some first hand tips and advice.

My wife and I are both 21, married and have two children (she is pregnant with our third). We are both bisexual.

This all started about two years ago when someone asked if I would ever share my wife. Naturally i responded with no. However, I have not been able to stop thinking about it ever since. For a year and a half, the wife would not consider anything along the lines of that. It was not until recently she really started to consider it, however she wanted a boyfriend or possibly a sugar daddy instead of just a random encounter. I thought about it for a day or two and realized I would be okay with that.

Fast forward to now.

She is currently texting a couple of different guys regularly testing the waters. She has a date planned for this weekend. Dinner and movies. We are very open in communication, she knows my concerns and we are on the same page. Physical and emotional relationship is expected. We both agree the line will be drawn before anything gets too serious, such as falling in love.

At first this was more of a cuckolding fetish, but since we have been talking about it, i care more about the thought of her getting more attention will make her happier. I am super excited to start this journey, but once it's started there is no going back. So I am a tad nervous to say the least.

Any and all advice and feedback Is appreciated, I left out a lot of details, but I seen the post was getting quite long so I tried to keep it to the basics.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Tiller,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Once things go beyond a random encounter, falling in love becomes a growing hazard. Hopefully your wife has the right idea of when to withdraw from a relationship, when it starts to grow into the falling in love area.

It sounds like the two of you have things worked out pretty well. I wish you the best, and hope you'll find Polyamory.com to be helpful.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Al99]

Hi Tiller, welcome to the Forum. I came here a few months ago after my wife asked me to open our marriage so that she could explore her reemerging feelings about an old college bf. Ultimately, I agreed to do so, and we are about six months into our mono turned poly marriage (see link below for the full story).

I understand that a sexual interest/fantasy initiated your current situation, but as you are already finding out, it is not always so straight forward. Be prepared for a lot of processing as you deal with all the feelings and emotions. You will find a lot of support and advice here. I encourage you to participate and read as much as you can about polyamory. Best of luck on your poly journey. Al

 

[FallenAngelina]

We both agree the line will be drawn before anything gets too serious, such as falling in love.

Intros aren't for relationship help, but I just have to alert you that many couples make this agreement and it's very unrealistic. There is no "safe word" for falling in love and sex often leads in this direction, much more so than urban legend would lead you to believe. Also, dating while pregnant is a whole barrel full of issues. Not sure if you want to discuss either of these topics but they are red hot buttons and there's a wealth of experience on this forum if you're interested in starting a thread in the Poly Relationships section.

 

[lafayettejeffersona]

Hi, I'm fairly new to the forum, also, so welcome!

It seems like you guys want a bit of freedom while still holding eachother as top priority! I love that! I would assume that this would be good for your marriage as long as nothing bad happens!

I would highly recommend telling your children what you're doing so that they don't cheat on a future romantic interest, thinking that it's fine, but don't tell a three year old, or something.

 

[Shaya]

Hi.
A warm welcome to the forums. I'm relatively new myself but I've often found that the more senior members here often offer great advice.

If you're new to non monogamy and wish for restrictions like "don't fall in love", I'd consider a model of consensual non monogamy that isn't polyamory, since polyamory does actually often allow the "falling in love" part as Karen points out. The book "Opening up" by Tristan taormino is often recommended since it talks about non monogamy in general, but I'm too much of a cheapskate so I haven't read it yet. For a free resource, I found this to be a good free resource.

In summary, if you're new to non monogamy and want the restriction "don't fall in love", you may want to consider the many other forms of non monogamy that there are.

You may also find the following useful:
Polyamoryville.
The difference between falling in love and growing in love.
Will love be the death of us.