LoveYouTwo
New member
Hi all,
I don't suppose there's anybody from the UK here who could recommend a poly-friendly solicitor who could help us sort out our matters and would not be judgemental?
Just to briefly describe the situation we have found ourselves in:
I am a gay man, legally married to my husband (we've been together over 10 years). Over a year ago, somebody else appeared in our lives and to our surprise we started developing romantic feelings towards him. Something we never thought was possible. The hardest bit for us was to admit to each other that we fell in love with someone else, yet, we still love each other. To our surprise that person also felt the same way and we started dating, although it felt strange at the beginning.
The problem that we have is that we live in the UK, and he lives in Mexico. We've spent amazing time in Mexico together, then he came to visit us in the UK for 6 months (short of few days) on a visitor visa. This was the real test for us - how we'd cope being together everyday, sleeping in one bed, sharing everything. Those six month were the happiest months in our lives, we all agree on this. However, he can't return to the UK now within next six months so we will soon meet for three weeks on a "neutral ground" - in Thailand, we will travel there from the UK, he will fly from Mexico.
He also got to know our friends and we came out as "triad" to one of them, and we are so grateful that she was supportive as ever, and supports us on every step of our journey. We have made the decision that we really want to be together. This is when things get complicated.
Because he is Mexican, he can't just migrate to the UK to live here. The only real option for us to be together is for me and my husband to divorce, and then one of us marries him, then he could come, work and live here under spouse visa. We've been in touch with immigration lawyers and this part we have pretty much covered. I was unsure of this idea at the beginning but now the more I think about it the more I believe it could be a good solution for us to be together.
What we don't know however, is how to get divorced but not really be divorced if this makes sense. We need this divorce to set up the family that we want to be, but at the same time we want to remain joint owners of our house, being each others next of kin, being able to decide for each other in case of emergency etc. And then to extend those rights between all three of us. I can't imagine this is too complicated, after all this is what our government is trying to do: leave the UE but keep all the benefits of being a member haha
I am also a bit afraid, because I remember when my husband and I were giving notice of marriage in our register office, we had to declare that we were not married or in a civil partnership with any other person anywhere in the world, or be prosecuted for "the crime of bigamy". In fact we would legally end our marriage but this phrase "crime of bigamy" still echoes in my mind. Can we in trouble doing this?
Long story short: any family/immigration law solicitors in the UK that could genuinely help us, treat us with respect, understand us and work for us to get the best possible outcome (and hopefully don't charge a fortune).
Thank You In Advance
I don't suppose there's anybody from the UK here who could recommend a poly-friendly solicitor who could help us sort out our matters and would not be judgemental?
Just to briefly describe the situation we have found ourselves in:
I am a gay man, legally married to my husband (we've been together over 10 years). Over a year ago, somebody else appeared in our lives and to our surprise we started developing romantic feelings towards him. Something we never thought was possible. The hardest bit for us was to admit to each other that we fell in love with someone else, yet, we still love each other. To our surprise that person also felt the same way and we started dating, although it felt strange at the beginning.
The problem that we have is that we live in the UK, and he lives in Mexico. We've spent amazing time in Mexico together, then he came to visit us in the UK for 6 months (short of few days) on a visitor visa. This was the real test for us - how we'd cope being together everyday, sleeping in one bed, sharing everything. Those six month were the happiest months in our lives, we all agree on this. However, he can't return to the UK now within next six months so we will soon meet for three weeks on a "neutral ground" - in Thailand, we will travel there from the UK, he will fly from Mexico.
He also got to know our friends and we came out as "triad" to one of them, and we are so grateful that she was supportive as ever, and supports us on every step of our journey. We have made the decision that we really want to be together. This is when things get complicated.
Because he is Mexican, he can't just migrate to the UK to live here. The only real option for us to be together is for me and my husband to divorce, and then one of us marries him, then he could come, work and live here under spouse visa. We've been in touch with immigration lawyers and this part we have pretty much covered. I was unsure of this idea at the beginning but now the more I think about it the more I believe it could be a good solution for us to be together.
What we don't know however, is how to get divorced but not really be divorced if this makes sense. We need this divorce to set up the family that we want to be, but at the same time we want to remain joint owners of our house, being each others next of kin, being able to decide for each other in case of emergency etc. And then to extend those rights between all three of us. I can't imagine this is too complicated, after all this is what our government is trying to do: leave the UE but keep all the benefits of being a member haha
I am also a bit afraid, because I remember when my husband and I were giving notice of marriage in our register office, we had to declare that we were not married or in a civil partnership with any other person anywhere in the world, or be prosecuted for "the crime of bigamy". In fact we would legally end our marriage but this phrase "crime of bigamy" still echoes in my mind. Can we in trouble doing this?Long story short: any family/immigration law solicitors in the UK that could genuinely help us, treat us with respect, understand us and work for us to get the best possible outcome (and hopefully don't charge a fortune).
Thank You In Advance
