Like pulling teeth...

You could take him at his word. He probably doesn't know until he's experienced things.
 
What feelings are you wanting to hear about? Or that you want to discuss? To help make you feel more comfortable?

http://openingup.net/resources/free-downloads-from-opening-up/

Any of that help you have the discussion with him you want to be having?

Because to me it sounds like you are asking him an "essay question" with "tell me what you feel." And he can't think of anything at this time and he's basically good enough for now. But you are not. Maybe he does better putting you at ease with "fill in the blank" approach -- circle things on a sheet? And then talk about each other's sheets?

Galagirl
 
Last edited:
So to me, it seems things would be much less complicated and potentially messy if he were able to tell me what he thinks he might be fine with, specific things he thinks he may not be fine with, etc., instead of basically defaulting to "do whatever you want, we can talk about it later."
Click to expand...

To me it sounds like from that collection of sheets? You two could cover this one for sure then.

Galagirl
 
TurquoiseMouse, I like Gala Girl's suggestion here.

I'd like also to recommend that your beloved try thought experiments-- not just thinking, "How would I handle TM trying [new thing X]?," but putting himself in the imagined position of you trying [new thing X] and, as much as possible, feeling the feelings that would come up.

In keeping with what Candiedlove says, that's not the same thing as actually observing your engagement with [new thing X], or at least the aftermath thereof, but it's a start. I've found thought experiments helpful in determining things like how much information is too much information for me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top