Long-time reader. New-time user...and boy do I have issues!

[LittleGreenSnake]

Hi everyone!

I am a 33 year old (bi) female in a long-term heterosexual relationship, who is new to polyamory. I have my partner of 7 years, and I have my boyfriend of 3 months (who I've known for a long time).

I'd always imagined polyamory to be somewhat of a luxurious lifestyle choice, until I suddenly found myself desperately in love with two men who are both desperately in love with me, and now realise the total SHITSTORM of emotion I have gotten myself into . Why can't things just be easy, right? Ha!

Anyway -- I'll be writing up a post about my current dilemma since, up until this point, I was handling things as best I could and managing quite well. Things have since hit the fan and it's crunch time.

I'd only really applied the word polyamory to myself last year, after sitting next to such a couple on a domestic plane trip within Peru. Ever since they explained to me exactly what it meant to them, I felt such great relief that I wasn't a freak or alone...that there ARE other people out there like me. Up until that point, I'd always felt like some kind of selfish narcissist who couldn't commit to a "normal" relationship like everyone else.

Unfortunately most of my friends are in (seemingly) monogamous relationships and bringing up any such kind of conversation would invoke suspicion and taboo I'd rather avoid. Especially since my partner doesn't want anyone to know about our arrangement...which sucks because I don't have an outlet or anyone to talk to about this.

So, here I am! Happy to join the community and looking forward to interacting with you all!

PLEASE feel free to be as honest and open with my post (which I'll make shortly in the Advice section), as I could really do with some help from people who've been there and done that. I really am in a pickle.

All the best!

Your Little Green Snake

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings LittleGreenSnake,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Not to worry, we'll do our best to help you with any questions or concerns you may have. The Poly Relationships Corner is probably your best bet as it tends to get the most attention. Polyamory can certainly be complicated, and we can all use help from time to time.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

 

[Shaya]

Welcome LittleGreenSnake,

You sound like you're experienced enough to be giving out advice on your own. Good luck with your V type relationship. Being a hinge requires a lot of time sacrifices so I hope you're taking good care of yourself whilst simultaneously looking after both your partners and their emotional needs. Not an easy task!

 

[LittleGreenSnake]

Thank-you!

 

[JK40]

I just thought I would say hello to you, as I am new here too. I just clicked with the poly lifestyle since meeting someone recently. But there is still so much ignorance around about it.