Looking for a mentor in a similar quad relationship

[MistySunshine]

Hi,
Recently my husband and I have embarked on a journey with another married couple. Both couples have kids, & both have been married for over 13 years. We’ve known this other couple for 3.5yrs. We’ve been close since the very begining. Up until a month ago we were hanging out weekly for “Happy Hour” at one of our houses. Our kids all get along well. Over a year ago I became their caregiver before & after school.
We have joked around for a few months about being one big happy family because of how much time we spend together. We joked around about buying a giant compound. We’ve joked around about wife swapping because we both enjoy each others husbands company quite a bit.
After a few drinks one night about a month ago I asked my best friend if she had ever been with another woman. She had not, but had wanted to. That question has led us on a rollercoaster of a ride the past month. We have all realized we have fallen in love with one or two other people (the wives have, and each wife with the others husband). The husbands are working on building a better friendship, but aren’t interested in crossing that bridge. This poly relationship has been physical, mental, & spiritual.
Over the past month we have been doing research on Polyamory, listening to audiobooks and podcasts, & having numerous conversations on our expectations, limitations, concerns, etc.
My best friend & I were talking tonight about how it would be nice to hear someone else’s experience that went through this type of situation. It would be nice if we found someone who would potentially like to be a mentor to us. So far we haven’t found much helpful knowledge on quad married couples with kids. If you know of any good articles, podcasts, or any other relevant information it would be very helpful.
Thank you!

 

[kdt26417]

Hello MistySunshine,

Quads are not overly common, although I would say of the quads that exist, two MF couples is the most common configuration, with or without kids. I can't promise you the mentor that you seek, but I would point out that general poly info and advice would probably be helpful to you, it doesn't have to be quad-specific. Having said that, you could do a search for "quad" on here and see what turns up. It sounds like you've already been doing your homework, so that's a good sign. I would say keep reading and posting, keep us updated on your situation as it evolves. And as particular questions arise. We'll try to be of help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[Dagferi]

There is no one way to do poly. We each have to find our own way. So I do not know why you would need a mentor. What works for one relationship eont work for another.

For example Bluebird and I both have two monogamous husbands. We are both in long term V polyandrous relationships.

That is where the similarity ends. She lives under one roof with both her husbands. I split my time 50/50 between the seperate homes I share with my husbands. Their lives are very intermingled from finances to socialization. My relationships are very parallel. There is very little cross over and contact between my husbands.

My relationship configuration would not work for her.. My husbands would be miserable in hers. They would probably kill each other.