Lost and Frustrated

[IndieSolo]

I realize that he lied and I called him on it. However, I believe I gave him a reason to lie that time. And to be fair, I never actually asked him if he was still seeing her. I just assumed. I shouldn't have assumed and he shouldn't have hid it. We're working on it.

Nobody ever gives someone a reason to lie. People lie because they choose to be dishonest. Keep making excuses for him if you want more drama in your life. If you want a healthy relationship, this doesn't appear to be anywhere near one. It sounds like a bunch of teenagers competing for attention, with a psychotic person running around making threats to a child, to boot. What are you so attached to in this? You can love someone and still recognize that they are acting like an asshole and keeping a lot of toxic people around.

Why not stop staying there and see how the relationship goes while you're living independently and have a little distance? See him just once or twice a week, and try to gain some objectivity, for your own sake! At least, if you stay in your own apartment and have him come to your place instead, that takes away the chance of being bludgeoned in bed.

 

[MichelleZed]

Also she is nice as pie one minute, and then snapping at people the next, putting Jay's son in time out for things he didn't do or say, etc.

WHAT?!? Naturebug, that's REALLY REALLY bad and serious emotional abuse. Are you telling me that there is a woman in the house gaslighting the 7-year-old and that's the woman your boyfriend wants to keep around because he is currently using her for free childcare?

It just keeps getting worse and worse. Please, please take a step back and see how messed up this must sound to us.

 

[polyq4]

OMG

Okay, I don't post a lot here. I am a guy, and I see tons of red flags. My advice-- RUN. Actually, I like the advice to go back to your place and at least let things stabilize. Take a fresh perspective, and get away from the trees so you can see the forest.

 

[quietstormn]

Sounds like drama to me.

It's interesting how NRE/infatuation can affect logical thinking. This man sounds more like a little boy than anything. If I had this much drama I would be running away screaming.

What about his child in this? This environment sounds very unstable and unhealthy.

The biggest red flag I see is the fact that he's using you as a fix for it. That's just as illogical as having kids to make a marriage better. The fact that he's talking marriage sounds like he is trying to trap you into it.

I agree with the other responses. There are better situations out there that will bring joy and love, instead of drama and chaos. I would tell him to seek a therapist.