lurking no more

S

silvermoon

New member
hi everyone,

I have been lurking for a ridiculously long time here and feel like lots of you are my friends already, which makes me strangely embarrassed to introduce myself now!

I'm a 45 year old woman, in the process of separating from a nearly two decade marriage, just moved back to my home country after a long time abroad with my youngest daughter and am revelling in life without a partner right now. I have another daughter, now at university.

In my early twenties my first long term bf and I thought we were inventing polyamory, and it went ok until he left me to become monogamous with another partner. We're still friends to this day, though, and were very close for years - I was also close to his partner. In my marriage I was not exactly wanting to be poly anymore, but honesty has always been my number one priority. I had one other relationship, with my husband's full knowledge, which was very intense, and I still love the guy although we are no longer together. Let's call him Muse. And then I found out that husband (can't think of a name yet, sorry!) had been cheating. A long story, with varied episodes, which didn't go down well with me.

There's absolutely loads more to say, of course, but let's leave it there for now. I really like this community just because people seem honest and open and bright. Thank you all for the invisible support you've provided in this big transition in my life!
 
Greetings silvermoon,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like Polyamory.com has already been a help for you, and hopefully will be even more help now that you're officially amongst us. Sorry your marriage isn't working out, although perhaps that's for the best?

Anyway, glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
thanks, Kevin!

Too right that the marriage not working out is for the best ;-). It's a mix of incompatibilities that we should have listened to earlier - in that sense it's a natural evolution and there's a lot of care and compassion between us - and then the element of him just behaving in a way that's not ok with me and that becoming crystal clear.

I've certainly personally got a lease of life, but being in two countries and having a school-age kid means that splitting up does complicate matters...
 
I take it it's an amicable separation, then?
 
It is, yes - we get on much better now. Once the 'romantic partner' zone is not there anymore it is much easier to be a partner in other ways - and as parents that's pretty important...
 
lurking no

Thanks all. Since my commute has more then doubled with my new job, hopefully I will be listening a bit more. Damn Seattle traffic.
 
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