Hello! This is my first post. I'm new to this forum as well as polyamory, and I've found myself in a situation I'm sure how to manage emotionally.
My (first polyamorous) partner has been married for ten years and is to be (non-legally) married to another partner in a few months. I've known all of this since we started dating, and although I definitely didn't anticipate our relationship developing with the intensity that it has, I have had time and opportunity to do the necessary processing to be mostly happy and secure with our circumstances.
However, I am experiencing a certain amount of anxiety over the event itself. Although I've been told I don't have to be there, I definitely feel like I need to attend. My partner is incredibly important to me, I want to be there for him, and I want to be part of the life he is building. So in light of all this, the day of the ceremony should be trivial, no? But it seems I have a lot of baggage and emotional scarring involving not being acknowledged by a partner in public (and related subjects), and everything about is making me, well... afraid.
This is her day, obviously. I don't want to be in the way... But this is really hard. Does anyone have any advice on what perspective I can take on this to get through it? Or should I just suck it up?
I'm also interested in hearing from people who have witnessed/attended their partners' wedding or commitment ceremonies when they weren't in any way a part of it.
My (first polyamorous) partner has been married for ten years and is to be (non-legally) married to another partner in a few months. I've known all of this since we started dating, and although I definitely didn't anticipate our relationship developing with the intensity that it has, I have had time and opportunity to do the necessary processing to be mostly happy and secure with our circumstances.
However, I am experiencing a certain amount of anxiety over the event itself. Although I've been told I don't have to be there, I definitely feel like I need to attend. My partner is incredibly important to me, I want to be there for him, and I want to be part of the life he is building. So in light of all this, the day of the ceremony should be trivial, no? But it seems I have a lot of baggage and emotional scarring involving not being acknowledged by a partner in public (and related subjects), and everything about is making me, well... afraid.
This is her day, obviously. I don't want to be in the way... But this is really hard. Does anyone have any advice on what perspective I can take on this to get through it? Or should I just suck it up?
I'm also interested in hearing from people who have witnessed/attended their partners' wedding or commitment ceremonies when they weren't in any way a part of it.
Last edited:
