You know you're poly when your wife just forwards you the texts from her boyfriend - just like she would from any other family member on those occasions when it is the quickest way to pass on the message.
Okay, here's one my friend Barb told me, like 1990.
She's happy being mostly just nonmonogamous, with various boyfriends scattered about. Her big brother, Dave, & his wife Beth had been "monogamish" for years (a moderately open marriage, basically), but had latched onto the new term "polyamory" & maybe gone a little overboard. (This tale might also explain why I kinda roll my eyes at "daisy chain" networks.)
Barb said she showed up solo at her parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner, & soon enough watched as Dave & Beth arrived... with Beth's boyfriend & his girlfriend... & Dave's girlfriend & her boyfriend.
Mom was a bit dismayed, as she'd basically planned everything for 6 +/- 1.
Dave got huffy -- you know, the Oldsters oppressing his enlightened radicalism. "Well, Barb brings her boyfriends here!!"
"Yes, dear," said Mom, unperturbed, "but not all at once."
You know you're poly when...
You're laying in bed chatting with your person in Canada, your husband is laying next to you listening to OK Conputer using his fancy noise cancelling headphones.
You have to interrupt him because the story Canada just told you is too good not to share and you all three wind up laughing your asses off together.
So FWIW, I just read through this thread with my wife and it's a great way to talk about th idea of polyamory in a lighthearted manner - funny, sweet, sometimes surprising pictures of different kinds of "normal." Just the kind of thing I've been looking for. <3
A cute moment I had last week was when our boyfriend stayed overnight (gf and I are roommates). My bed is the biggest (full size) so we fell asleep together. Gf often gets up in the middle of the night to sleep in her own bed because she’s a hot sleeper and cramming into a full size bed with two other people and a dog (spoiled little thing) is a bit much.
Anyway, so when I woke up I was cuddling with the bf, and I got up to take the dog out and then went back to bed to cuddle some more cuz it had been a late night for all of us. He got up to go to work shortly after I fell asleep again, and the second time I woke up my gf had joined me so I got to cuddle with her a bit. Fell asleep again, she got up to get ready for work (my lazy ass had the day off) and the third time I woke up my dog had wiggled his way up next to me to take her spot so I was greeted with his adorable face and got to have some puppy cuddle time.
So yeah, each time I woke up that morning was next to someone different lol. I just thought it was really cute.
You have one text stream going with your wife, consoling her because her boyfriend had to cancel their date last night (especially since she was spending the night in his town on business) - and promising to be available for her when she flies back in tonight.
And another text stream going with your ldr girlfriend, sharing her excitement about seeing her (local) romantic interest later in the day.
I love this thread. This is still very new to us as a couple, and we keep running across these moments constantly. Some of my "you know you are poly when" moments in the last month have been:
-Showing my wife the best secluded places to park near her workplace, knowing she was not planning on parking there with me.
-My wife asking me if I could run home on my lunch break and bring her back her favorite clitoral stimulating gel, because she had a date immediately after work. (And trying to find something non-descript but plausible to hide said gel in so I could deliver it without her coworkers asking questions).
Of course, this works both directions. And while not directly polyamorous, we were at a party with a group of very free spirited polyamorous friends. Apparently my wife extolled my skill at cunnilingus to an attractive young lady and the next thing I knew I was taken by the hand and led off while my wife laughed and made shooing motions. Best wingman ever.
You spend the afternoon making fancy chili (beef short rib AND chorizo! toasted whole chili peppers!) that you don't even plan on eating until the next day because your partner is having his other partner stay over while you go out (and handling childcare for the evening).
Bonus: I get extra-tasty leftover chili without having to eat the same thing 2 days in a row. (Next day chili tastes better, I dislike leftovers. It's a conundrum.)
You know you may be poly when -- while relaxing with your wife on the couch, discussing her plans to see her ldr bf next week, your ldr girlfriend texts you that she and her husband are busy preparing an after Thanksgiving dinner for a group of friends - and she is excited because her local male love interest and her local female love interest are both planning on being there.
During a recent moment, my wife laughed and told me that she never thought that she would be such a slut - because she just loved that she got to (openly) fuck two different men, and even occasionally on the same day. I just smiled and said "well, you know - they say that poly-girls wear the slut title with pride".
Of course, in "The Ethical Slut", the authors reclaim the word "slut" and make it a title to be proud of. Anyone here ever given the reclaiming of the word any thought? Al