My GF is leaving and I could use all of your excellent advice...

T

Tahirabs

New member
My GF, Katja, has to go back to Finland at the end of this month. :( Her visa for studying at our local university runs out. She won't be able to return for at least 2 years, possibly longer. She keeps telling us she will definitely return to the U.S. and to us.

My husband Nils wanted to have a deep conversation about her putting the family first in regards to communication and money, and she was all for this. She even said this is what she wants. She said she wants a long-term caring devoted relationship. (Yay!)

I have talked about putting all our wants and needs down on paper and signing it, just for our sake. What do others think of this idea? I think mainly this would make me feel better about her leaving for so long.

She has promised to e-mail me daily, even just a "Hi, I love you," and handwrite letters weekly. I told her that is a lot and that she doesn't have to.

Just wondering what others think, since you all give such great advice.
 
The time has come, eh, Tahirabs? :( I feel for you.

I wouldn't write anything down just yet. Promising stuff in a moment of life change can be risky. Maybe wait until the spring or summer to see where you are all at. You wouldn't want her to make a promise she might not be able to keep, and by asking she will feel the need to comply to make you feel better. It seems tad unfair to me.
 
Thanks for the help.

I don't want her to promise something she can't keep. Hmm... Maybe the three of us have more talking to do.
 
My advice, Tahirabs, is to fully enjoy the remaining time you have together. Every single moment is precious and sacred. More than that, love is what life is all about.

Love one another, as deeply and as fully and as completely as you can.

Don't let the fear of what may come tomorrow steal today's joy.

And when the time comes, let your loved one go. Trust that everything that must be will be. You can trust that love will always find a way.
 
Fidelia said:
My advice, Tahirabs, is to fully enjoy the remaining time you have together. Every single moment is precious and sacred. More than that, love is what life is all about.

Love one another, as deeply and as fully and as completely as you can.

Don't let the fear of what may come tomorrow steal today's joy.

And when the time comes, let your loved one go. Trust that everything that must be will be. You can trust that love will always find a way.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This advice is most heeded. Love does always find a way. I Katja ans I don't find a way (at all) than it must not be really love. I do believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. I just forgot that for a moment. Thank you for the reminder.

Guess what is so cool? If the weather permits, Nils, Katja and I are going to drive from KS to the Grand Canyon just before Christmas! :) I hope the weather isn't too bad. The coolest part was, for every hotel room I booked, Nils called up and requested a Queen/King bed, so we could all sleep together. It was his idea. He got sad that I had gotten double beds. Isn't that sweet... and awesome? :) YEAH. I am soo happy.
 
Congrats! I'm happy for you guys. :) Sounds like you have some wonderful loves there.
 
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