cosmicmama
New member
Hi, everyone.
My name is Tiffany. I'm 29. I've been with my husband for about 5 years, but we've only been married one year (on June 21st). I have always found myself having deep connections with multiple people, sometimes of a sexual nature. My last relationship was ruined by this, because of social conventions, I found myself having to lie and sneak, and after it all imploding, I vowed I'd never do that again. I've never lied or cheated on my husband. After I had our son, my sex drive truly seemed to disappear. We co-sleep and I breastfeed (we are a very natural AP family) and I simply never even thought about sex.. for like 2 years. Not that I was opposed to it, but from what I normally was used to (a very high sex drive) I know it was hard on my husband. but we just sort of fell into not ever having sex and relying on our internal bond to carry us through. Well, my sex drive returned. More than ever. I felt like I was lusting after every man I saw. I went out one evening by myself which I don't often get a chance to do. I started talking to another man (this was just about a week ago) and instantly felt that old, familiar spark. He was very attractive. and I could tell he was attracted to me. a voice in my head was saying "GO! GET OUT NOW!" because I couldn't bear thinking about compromising my relationship to my husband and our son, who are both so very precious to me. I kept thinking about the man, and my reaction, though. I wanted to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. I thought perhaps, I could suggest we each get a free pass.. like, if we fuck up and bang somebody else, it's okay one time. But I just didn't know how in the world to bring it up without making him feel like he wasn't enough for me or I was unhappy. Lauckily, I didn't have to. HE brought it up a couple of days ago. He is a tattoo artist and one of his customers is in an open marriage. He was very intrigued by the idea. I confessed I'd been thinking the same t hing and really struggling with the idea of monogamy and feeling guilt over my attractions to other men. Long story short, he said it's okay! let's give this a try!! so for the last few days, we've simply been talking about it, from all different angles. Our sex life has been phenomenal lately. At first I was just so excited about it all, but there have been moments where I'm frightened and panicing.. like what if it doesn't work out what if I can't handle him being with another woman.. We've said if it doesn't work out, then no problem, it's over. If either of us feels uneasy about it any time, we can end it. I'm going to visit my good friend in a couple weeks in Portland and it will be my firsrt time away from my family for a few days in a long time. ever, actually, since our son was born. who is 3. So I think I'll have an opportunity for meeting someone.. I'm just excited, but scared... just wondering if anybody else with more experience could possibly give me any advice or pointers. Looking forward to meeting some like-minded, free thinkers here! Thanks for reading!
My name is Tiffany. I'm 29. I've been with my husband for about 5 years, but we've only been married one year (on June 21st). I have always found myself having deep connections with multiple people, sometimes of a sexual nature. My last relationship was ruined by this, because of social conventions, I found myself having to lie and sneak, and after it all imploding, I vowed I'd never do that again. I've never lied or cheated on my husband. After I had our son, my sex drive truly seemed to disappear. We co-sleep and I breastfeed (we are a very natural AP family) and I simply never even thought about sex.. for like 2 years. Not that I was opposed to it, but from what I normally was used to (a very high sex drive) I know it was hard on my husband. but we just sort of fell into not ever having sex and relying on our internal bond to carry us through. Well, my sex drive returned. More than ever. I felt like I was lusting after every man I saw. I went out one evening by myself which I don't often get a chance to do. I started talking to another man (this was just about a week ago) and instantly felt that old, familiar spark. He was very attractive. and I could tell he was attracted to me. a voice in my head was saying "GO! GET OUT NOW!" because I couldn't bear thinking about compromising my relationship to my husband and our son, who are both so very precious to me. I kept thinking about the man, and my reaction, though. I wanted to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. I thought perhaps, I could suggest we each get a free pass.. like, if we fuck up and bang somebody else, it's okay one time. But I just didn't know how in the world to bring it up without making him feel like he wasn't enough for me or I was unhappy. Lauckily, I didn't have to. HE brought it up a couple of days ago. He is a tattoo artist and one of his customers is in an open marriage. He was very intrigued by the idea. I confessed I'd been thinking the same t hing and really struggling with the idea of monogamy and feeling guilt over my attractions to other men. Long story short, he said it's okay! let's give this a try!! so for the last few days, we've simply been talking about it, from all different angles. Our sex life has been phenomenal lately. At first I was just so excited about it all, but there have been moments where I'm frightened and panicing.. like what if it doesn't work out what if I can't handle him being with another woman.. We've said if it doesn't work out, then no problem, it's over. If either of us feels uneasy about it any time, we can end it. I'm going to visit my good friend in a couple weeks in Portland and it will be my firsrt time away from my family for a few days in a long time. ever, actually, since our son was born. who is 3. So I think I'll have an opportunity for meeting someone.. I'm just excited, but scared... just wondering if anybody else with more experience could possibly give me any advice or pointers. Looking forward to meeting some like-minded, free thinkers here! Thanks for reading!
