Hi,
I'm mostly here for information. I'm struggling quite a bit and it is difficult to find people to talk about it with. I may post this elsewhere later, as I realize this is the introduction thread and it may get over looked here. But here's what I'm in.
I'm in my late 30s. My wife and I have been together since out mid teens. We have been married for 11 years this October. After the birth of our second child our sex life became rather stagnant. Of course there was less sex while he was super young, but we never seemed to recapture the mood. She says she's lost her spark for me.
About 5 years ago, during a drunken night with friend we fooled around with another couple. Nothing too adult, just a lot of kissing and groping. It was exciting for us both as we had only been with each other. That night after falling asleep, my wife and the other male involved hooked up, and maintained a 5 year relationship in secret. 3 Years ago, they broke up, and my wife used a co worker to try to forget him for another year relationship. ABout 2 years ago she joined AshleyMadision and has has at least 5 or 6 partners from that site.
During this 5 year period, I would estimate she and I have had sex a total of about 10 times. None in 2016. I had attributed to a low libido on her part, and felt her frustration with me suggesting sex too often. So I just pleasured myself on our own. The rest of our marriage was very happy. We don't fight, she is my best friend.
She doesn't know that I know any of this. I still need to have the talk. I am afraid of where it will go. Clearly, she needs variety that I can't offer. I know she will not stop cheating just because I confront her. I am wondering if there is any salvaging this through a poly relationship. Do they work if they are one sided? Sadly, I don't have a ton of desire to have other lovers. But I feel I could be happy if she were intimate with me again, even if she had lovers on the side.
I have no idea what to do. I'm very sad. In therapy, and now medicated...
This is my introduction....
I'm mostly here for information. I'm struggling quite a bit and it is difficult to find people to talk about it with. I may post this elsewhere later, as I realize this is the introduction thread and it may get over looked here. But here's what I'm in.
I'm in my late 30s. My wife and I have been together since out mid teens. We have been married for 11 years this October. After the birth of our second child our sex life became rather stagnant. Of course there was less sex while he was super young, but we never seemed to recapture the mood. She says she's lost her spark for me.
About 5 years ago, during a drunken night with friend we fooled around with another couple. Nothing too adult, just a lot of kissing and groping. It was exciting for us both as we had only been with each other. That night after falling asleep, my wife and the other male involved hooked up, and maintained a 5 year relationship in secret. 3 Years ago, they broke up, and my wife used a co worker to try to forget him for another year relationship. ABout 2 years ago she joined AshleyMadision and has has at least 5 or 6 partners from that site.
During this 5 year period, I would estimate she and I have had sex a total of about 10 times. None in 2016. I had attributed to a low libido on her part, and felt her frustration with me suggesting sex too often. So I just pleasured myself on our own. The rest of our marriage was very happy. We don't fight, she is my best friend.
She doesn't know that I know any of this. I still need to have the talk. I am afraid of where it will go. Clearly, she needs variety that I can't offer. I know she will not stop cheating just because I confront her. I am wondering if there is any salvaging this through a poly relationship. Do they work if they are one sided? Sadly, I don't have a ton of desire to have other lovers. But I feel I could be happy if she were intimate with me again, even if she had lovers on the side.
I have no idea what to do. I'm very sad. In therapy, and now medicated...
This is my introduction....
