FicklePickle
New member
I am in a polyamorous relationship, its a newer one.
He recently has found a friend colouring pages. It is known this friend enjoys colouring, but I feel as though there is time and thought getting directed towards them that isn't at all directed towards me.
They have a very flirty banter, back and forth when they get talking and I do feel uncomfortable.
I'm unsure how to approach this, or what to talk about. I am not jealous of the friend, but I am jealous of the effort they are getting.
I put a lot into my partner, I do chores and tasks they don't have the time or spoons for, I make handmade gifts because I know they are special for my partner and they do appreciate them. My partner doesn't vocalise positive affirmations of my efforts very much and I've said how much I appreciate words of affirmation and praise before.
My partner often says I should do xyz for you more, like you do for me (them talking to me) and it's become a pattern they will say that and not act on those words.
I feel as though I'm slowly becoming resentful of words that stand on a lack of action.
I think I'm becoming a little frustrated I'm expected to take on more things for them, when they aren't doing much of anything for me that I've asked for or wanted. I have to nag for things like go to a shop so I can get furniture, or keep bringing up a home date idea that we both want to do, but isn't done until I act on it. Even to be in my house and exist with me so I can body double and do chores, but they've not - saying that my WiFi isn't set up yet.
I know they love me, but their actions show me their love is lazy. I think that is really harsh and I'd love some perspective. I will also say for the sake of context; my partner has a history of being quick to anger in difficult conversations, they wish they didn't. But again it's words that have no action, he's not actioned any healthy skills in those moments to deal with those feelings.
He recently has found a friend colouring pages. It is known this friend enjoys colouring, but I feel as though there is time and thought getting directed towards them that isn't at all directed towards me.
They have a very flirty banter, back and forth when they get talking and I do feel uncomfortable.
I'm unsure how to approach this, or what to talk about. I am not jealous of the friend, but I am jealous of the effort they are getting.
I put a lot into my partner, I do chores and tasks they don't have the time or spoons for, I make handmade gifts because I know they are special for my partner and they do appreciate them. My partner doesn't vocalise positive affirmations of my efforts very much and I've said how much I appreciate words of affirmation and praise before.
My partner often says I should do xyz for you more, like you do for me (them talking to me) and it's become a pattern they will say that and not act on those words.
I feel as though I'm slowly becoming resentful of words that stand on a lack of action.
I think I'm becoming a little frustrated I'm expected to take on more things for them, when they aren't doing much of anything for me that I've asked for or wanted. I have to nag for things like go to a shop so I can get furniture, or keep bringing up a home date idea that we both want to do, but isn't done until I act on it. Even to be in my house and exist with me so I can body double and do chores, but they've not - saying that my WiFi isn't set up yet.
I know they love me, but their actions show me their love is lazy. I think that is really harsh and I'd love some perspective. I will also say for the sake of context; my partner has a history of being quick to anger in difficult conversations, they wish they didn't. But again it's words that have no action, he's not actioned any healthy skills in those moments to deal with those feelings.
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