My partner's potential partner has herpes/HSV 1 and 2

CattivaGattina said:
It's possible the cold sores may have been canker sores. Sometimes the two look very similar.

I also have always tested negative for HSV 1 & 2, but did have canker sores when I was younger.
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It is my understanding that herpes lesions are a pustule, often like a pus-filled small pimple. Canker sores are like craters. You could have a herpes lesion and just think it's a small zit.

I used to get canker sores when I was younger, and now put it down to a lack of vitamin B, because I was so often dieting and not eating many carbs (wheat products). My sister got canker sores worse than me, and started taking a B supplement and they didn't recur.

So, I went to my health clinic for a STD panel today. I asked for tests for HSV 1 and 2 (besides the other stuff). The doctor tried to talk me out of it, citing that 90% of people worldwide have HSV 1. And she asked me what I would tell new partners if I tested positive. I said, "Never mind all that, I just want to know." Results should be ready in a week.
 
Magdlyn said:
It is my understanding that herpes lesions are a pustule, often like a pus-filled small pimple. Canker sores are like craters. You could have a herpes lesion and just think it's a small zit.
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Huh... Interesting (and a bit disconcerting) that for years, I would have the occasional onesie-twosie "zit" in the pubic region (not to mention that ingrown hairs do the same thing). Thanks for the info. Time for some digging into this, myself.
 
Sometimes they are just a spot of dry skin that is a little flaky and very itchy. Sometimes zit like (small or large but no "head").
Sometimes they are like a scratch.
Sometimes similar looking to the beginning of impetigo.
Sometimes just a redness on the skin.

Not always in the pubic region.
I most frequently get them at the base of my tail bone...

They can appear inside of the vagina, or anywhere on the external part of the body, including the eyes, which is most common in babies exposed during delivery.

Stress can be a trigger. Hormonal changes can.

Often people have NO IDEA they have a breakout when they do.

I usually feel the itchiness before there is any visible sign.
 
When my doctor was ordering my STD tests, I noticed tests for HSV1 and 2 weren't even on the form. There were tests for just about every disease you could think of on the form, but not those. She had to write them in. So, since Pixi goes to the same clinic, and she's asked to be tested for "everything," but never specifically herpes, my guess is she's never actually been tested for it.

In other news, Mischa's one datinh interest, that I called a "potential," who broke up with her after her diagnosis? I found out yesterday they have actually already dated and had sex. It was his wife that she was considering also becoming involved with. Turns out they all hot tubbed together last weekend, so all is not lost.

Ginger has made an appointment for a physical in January and plans to get tested for STDs + herpes then. I suggested he get tested sooner, since if he has HSV1 and 2, all this worry about Mischa will be moot. But he said he didn't want to. So I let him be. Personally I'd want to know sooner, but it's his choice.
 
That's so common here. If you ask to be tested for "everything," they test for Chlamydia, Gonnereha (can't remember how to spell it) and syphilis. They don't say that to you. I had to ask about it to find out. And that is the "state norm." If you want to be tested for anything else, you have to specify by name. And the results just say "your tests came back negative," unless something is positive.
 
LovingRadiance said:
That's so common here. If you ask to be tested for "everything" they test for Chlamydia, Gonnereha (can't remember how to spell it) and syphilis. They don't say that to you. I had to ask about it to find out. And that is the "state norm." If you want to be tested for anything else you have to specify by name.
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I have been offered Hep C and HIV when I've been tested. This time the doctor also asked me if I wanted a Hep B vaccine.

It's "gonorrhea." ;)
 
I asked about all of them, and after finding out from our personal doctor that it wasn't the "norm" to test for any but those three (he was happy to do the tests, but was educating me per my curiosity, and he also knows we are poly), I went researching.

I am still so offended over it. LOL

But it is the norm for Alaska to only test for those three unless someone specifically requests to be tested for something else specific. You can go in and ask for HIV testing anywhere. But herpes tests are a BITCH to get, especially if you want insurance to cover it, or need to go to the sliding fee-scale clinics. They flat don't do them.

It's disturbing.

I brought it up in the poly group here (before I left the group) and no one else was aware at all. Several went asking after I brought it up and were horrified to find out that all of this time they THOUGHT they were being tested for "everything," because that is what they asked for. But they weren't. Most people haven't a clue.
 
LovingRadiance said:
I brought it up in the poly group here (before I left the group) and no one else was aware at all. Several went asking after I brought it up and were horrified to find out that all of this time they THOUGHT they were being tested for "everything," because that is what they asked for. But they weren't. Most people haven't a clue.
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Well, umm... wouldn't they have found out when they got the results? It's all spelled out, so if they don't see a test for HSV on the print-out, then... you know, logically, there was no test for it. :confused:

I don't get it. How could people think they were tested for something that they weren't? Don't the docs go over the results with them? And doesn't everyone ask for a hard copy nowadays, to see all the test results in black & white? If they're not doing that, do they just expect their new potential lovers to take them at their word what their test results were?

I'm stymied here.
 
My doc just said that I had tested negative for everything except for BV, when I was tested. I actually left the office and then went back in to ask for hard copies of the test results. They didn't offer them as a matter of course, and actually had to print them off one by one instead of having a single sheet. I told my boyfriend that instead of framing them, he'd need a shadowbox to display them all. :) He declined to look at them though. He trusted I was telling him the truth.
 
I live in Massachusetts. The first time I was tested, the printout I got was so technical and confusing I didn't really understand it. The next time I was tested was at the same doctor's office, but they had a new STD clinic in place, and even though I was negative for everything, I had to go in and get my printouts and consult with a guy. I don't think he was a MD, maybe some kind of specialized lab tech who seemed educated in STD counseling. Those printouts were much clearer and easy to understand.

Now, I am with a different clinic that specializes in LGBT folk. I saw an actual doctor, got my vitals and weight taken, and was also asked if I was feeling any aches or pains, and we talked about my bad knee! The doctor said he'd email me when the results were in. Pixi has been going to this clinic for a while, and told me the email will include a link to my personal medical records to show my results. If there is anything positive I will be asked to come in to the clinic for treatment options.
 
nycindie said:
Wouldn't they have found out when they got the results? It's all spelled out, so if they don't see a test for HSV on the print-out, then... you know, logically, there was no test for it. :confused:

I don't get it. How could people think they were tested for something that they weren't? Don't the docs go over the results with them? And doesn't everyone ask for a hard copy nowadays, to see all the test results in black & white? If they're not doing that, do they just expect their new potential lovers to take them at their word what their test results were?
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No. It's not spelled out. You get a card in the mail saying "your test results are negative." If there is a positive it says, "One of your test results was positive. Please contact your provider."

And I was actually considered unreasonable (in the poly group) for suggesting hard copies being shared. No one felt that was appropriate or necessary or reasonable to request. In fact, just suggesting that they need to take a CURRENT test was proclaimed as me espousing "couple privilege" and being an "overly controlling" partner.

Interestingly, several friends in the swinging circles encountered the same. One was "new" to swinging, and "went with the flow." When she and her husband decided to be poly, she started discussing things with me. I suggested that I would need a hard copy test. She was STUNNED. After several years as swingers, they had never once encountered anyone who'd even asked about testing, much less actually insisted on proof!

This has created a large amount of conflict for Maca and me, because he's very much a "norm follower" and all. But some of the ladies he's considered dating in the poly world found it OFFENSIVE that the suggestion was even made that STI testing needed to be done. Flat-out offensive.

The only one who didn't was in the medical field as a profession, and already did her testing on a 3-month basis anyway. But she was practically gleeful that it was brought up, because everyone had thought she was ridiculous for wanting that.
 
GO CHESSY!

Maybe he could come here and train people? Just kidding. But I sure wish they would learn!
 
Annoying. I got an email from the doctor, and all it said was:

"All of your STD testing was NEGATIVE. HIV, hepatitis C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis were negative. However, you are not immune to hepatitis B, so I would recommend getting the vaccine series at your convenience..." with explanations of how to get the shot.

No mention of the HSV tests, no mention of how to get a hard copy of my results. So, I wrote back asking about that.
 
He wrote back. Negative for HSV 1&2.

So there you go.
 
Yesterday, I went for my usual NHS STD test and depo. I asked about having a HSV 1 + 2 test, and she went on a bit of a rant, saying there is absolutely no point in having one, and they only test women who have a partner with HSV during pregnancy, if she has an outbreak, and hasn't had one before, or previously tested negative. I explained about the poly thing and that my partner's partner(s) may want to know, and she said there is absolutely no need for them to know at all. If I ever did have an outbreak, or a partner did, just avoid sex at that time. She went on to say that people who do not have HSV 1 and/or 2 are now the ones who are abnormal, and if they can't understand why testing positive for herpes isn't very important, then they probably aren't the type of people I want to spend much time with, because the people who still feel they need to know after having the science explained to them usually just want to discriminate against people who test positive. I was just like... "Okay."
 
Wow, that was rather bitchy.
 
Ugh, I hate it when medical professionals start lecturing instead of just giving someone what they ask for. If a patient wants a specific test done, can pay for it, or has insurance, and it isn't some weirdly dangerous experimental thing, then fucking shut up and give them the damn test. Sheesh, these doctors forget they are working for us!
 
london said:
Yesterday, I went for my usual NHS STD test and depo. I asked about having a HSV 1 + 2 Test and she went on a bit of a rant saying there is absolutely no point in having one and they only test women who have a partner with HSV during pregnancy if she has an outbreak and hasn't had one before or previously tested negative. I explained about the poly thing and that my partner's partner(s) may want to know and she said there is absolutely no need for them to know at all. If I ever did have an outbreak, or a partner did, just avoid sex at that time. She went on to say that people who do not have HSV 1 and/or 2 are no the ones who are abnormal and if they can't understand why testing positive for herpes isn't very important, then they probably aren't the type of people I want to spend much time with because the people who still feel they need to know after having the science explained to them usually just want to discriminate against people who test positive. I was just like.. "okay".
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Doctors should listen to us. But your doctor's rant was accurate. HSV doesn't kill people. The only time it is dangerous is to an infant being born through a vaginal birth. It is basically an unpleasant skin condition. That said, I understand people don't want to get it if they don't have it currently. And I think people should disclose to possible partners. But the stigma is all outsized to the actual health issues.
 
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