Hi
So, I have two relationships at the moment. I'm bisexual, married with a wife, and I'm seeing a man. I'm pretty happy about how things have turned out and I've had some moments of being really elated. However, it hasn't all been easy to get used to and I'm still an anxious person at heart, so two relationships is an interesting adventure for sure.
It started as I came out as bisexual to my family and friends, my wife knew this before, and I wanted to explore homosexual intimacy. Her and I talked quite a bit before deciding how to go forward and what to expect if we opened the marriage. So far, I'm the only one to have an outside relationship, and she seems to not have a similar desire or need. I think there were also other things I was looking for, since it has never been solely about sex for me. Most of the time I spend with him is in enjoying happy company. There are just some things about both relationships that satisfy my needs and desires as a person, especially as my wife can be quite introverted, but I feel that I love them both very much with an emotional connection.
Now, in terms of advice, my relationship with him is not sure footed. I've been seeing him for almost 7 months, but I feel like we need a label that doesn't exist (are we f* buddies, boyfriends?). I want to bring up the conversation, but it feels really difficult. I also want to say that I love him more often than I do, but it sticks in my throat, since I am unsure how he feels about our relationship and where it's going, even if we are together.
The other side is how to be okay with "publicly" being married and in another relationship. I've shared with some of my classmates and I'm in quite a good network of friends. My wife has the same. I'm not sure about my guy. My mom knows a bit, but I'm not quite willing to share with other family. I also don't know yet how to incorporate him into my life more; maybe going out with friends, etc. I'm also not sure if any of these are good ideas, because on the flip side I'm worried about stigma against polyamory from a career perspective, especially since I'm already married.
Sorry this is quite long, but maybe some words of wisdom will help!
Thanks!
So, I have two relationships at the moment. I'm bisexual, married with a wife, and I'm seeing a man. I'm pretty happy about how things have turned out and I've had some moments of being really elated. However, it hasn't all been easy to get used to and I'm still an anxious person at heart, so two relationships is an interesting adventure for sure.
It started as I came out as bisexual to my family and friends, my wife knew this before, and I wanted to explore homosexual intimacy. Her and I talked quite a bit before deciding how to go forward and what to expect if we opened the marriage. So far, I'm the only one to have an outside relationship, and she seems to not have a similar desire or need. I think there were also other things I was looking for, since it has never been solely about sex for me. Most of the time I spend with him is in enjoying happy company. There are just some things about both relationships that satisfy my needs and desires as a person, especially as my wife can be quite introverted, but I feel that I love them both very much with an emotional connection.
Now, in terms of advice, my relationship with him is not sure footed. I've been seeing him for almost 7 months, but I feel like we need a label that doesn't exist (are we f* buddies, boyfriends?). I want to bring up the conversation, but it feels really difficult. I also want to say that I love him more often than I do, but it sticks in my throat, since I am unsure how he feels about our relationship and where it's going, even if we are together.
The other side is how to be okay with "publicly" being married and in another relationship. I've shared with some of my classmates and I'm in quite a good network of friends. My wife has the same. I'm not sure about my guy. My mom knows a bit, but I'm not quite willing to share with other family. I also don't know yet how to incorporate him into my life more; maybe going out with friends, etc. I'm also not sure if any of these are good ideas, because on the flip side I'm worried about stigma against polyamory from a career perspective, especially since I'm already married.
Sorry this is quite long, but maybe some words of wisdom will help!
Thanks!
