My Soul

Gettoknowme

New member
Please excuse me while I take my time here.. I understand that most new people likely post questions, vent about stresses and provide lots of detail about the make-up of their personal relationships - but I am just not completely at that point yet. I probably DO need advice, but what I think I may need more is just a space to talk (its just that the topic of polyamory is very relevant to who I am).

Non-monogamy/polyamory is something that I believe has really always been a part of who I am. Right from very young I always knew I wouldn't be someone with a whole lot of people in my life, and although I had no real understanding of what my stance on relationships was, I knew that I wanted anyone I chose to share my time with to be someone I would keep in my life forever and care for like family, and that I wanted to be able to have open and honest communication with those I care for regardless of any "rules" my young brain associated with what a proper relationship should be. Throughout my younger years of hearing stories about people getting cheated on, or lied to, I remember feeling like I would feel too guilty to blind-side someone like that and vowed that I would always tell my partners up front that they don't need to be scared of me if their eyes (or other body parts) wander elsewhere. To me it has always just seemed reasonable that you could build an intimate emotional and/or physical relationship with more than one person.

Today there are probably a lot of things related to non-monogamy/polyamory that I don't understand, or don't "fit into" - but I am always open to personal growth. I don't remember all of the proper poly-terminology and quite honestly, it has been quite some time since I have done any soul-searching/research on the topic due to the highly monogamous nature of the long-lasting partnership I am in now. Or at least it was supposed to be monogamous... but I think that will be a different post.

switching gears....

2020 is a right, Fing jerk man... am I right? I seriously cannot take much more of this year's constant rainstorm of WTF. Every day that passes seems to bring me some new BS or heartache to deal with... and it really sucks that I know more pain is on the way soon. I think I have cried more in the past few months than I have in my whole life (I have always actively made the choice to suppress emotion despite how many people have told me it's not the right thing to do.. so maybe I am paying for it now because I can't seem to stop all the emotions anymore!)

It is also so disheartening watching all of the "ugly" in the world, and thinking about what young children are having to grow up with right now. Even my standby, American Ninja Warrior, has somewhat failed as a "mood booster" when I have had days recently where I am feeling especially disappointed in the world. Usually the "come-back" stories and the support they show each other is enough to bring me out of my funk and restore my faith that there really is beauty amongst pain.

I am really not much of a writer and have always had trouble ending stuff I write, so I will just be abrupt and end this post here for now. Despite the somber tone of this post, I hope everyone who may read it is having a nice day and I am looking forward to reading today's new posts.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Hello Gettoknowme,

You are doing fine to post here, Life stories and blogs is a good place to just express yourself and talk. When you are ready to receive advice, go to Poly Relationships Corner and post there. There is no hurry however, just decide on your own timetable.

In Life stories and blogs, people are not supposed to give you advice, nor criticize, unless you specifically ask for advice/criticism. This is your space, your place to vent and talk. You can always go to Poly Relationships Corner later. You may occasionally get feedback on this thread, but mostly it will just be you talking. Hopefully that's okay.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 

Gettoknowme

New member
Hello Gettoknowme,

You are doing fine to post here, Life stories and blogs is a good place to just express yourself and talk. When you are ready to receive advice, go to Poly Relationships Corner and post there. There is no hurry however, just decide on your own timetable.

In Life stories and blogs, people are not supposed to give you advice, nor criticize, unless you specifically ask for advice/criticism. This is your space, your place to vent and talk. You can always go to Poly Relationships Corner later. You may occasionally get feedback on this thread, but mostly it will just be you talking. Hopefully that's okay.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Ok, sounds good.

Thanks!!
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
No problem. By the way, I agree with you that 2020 has been an awful year. There's a chance that the current/pending election will turn some things around, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Sorry, I don't mean to be a negative Nancy.
 
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