Need advice on dealing with religious family members. Open marriage.

[PiscesGoats]

Hello Everyone,

I am in a consensual open marriage. I have a partner outside of the marriage with whom I'm monogamous with. I am in need of advice on how to approach and deal with religious family members who will most likely be offended or standoffish to my open marriage status. It's a big concern for my partner and me. I am new to non-traditional relationships and could use some sound guidance on how to go forward with this challenge.

Best!

 

[Magdlyn]

Hello Everyone,

Hi and welcome. Just so you know, I moved your thread to the appropriate forum for advice.

I am in a consensual open marriage. I have a partner outside of the marriage with whom I'm monogamous.

You can only be monogamous with your OSO if you're not in relationship with your marital partner. So, you're just dating your spouse and your other partner? Is it casual sex only with the other person, or are you actually practicing polyamory, multiple loving romantic relationships?

I am in need of advice on how to approach and deal with religious family members who will most likely be offended or standoffish to my open marriage status. It's a big concern for my partner and me.

You mean it's a concern for you and your newer partner, or for all three of you? I'm confused.

I am new to non-traditional relationships and could use some sound guidance on how to go forward with this challenge.

Coming out has been addressed here probably hundreds of times. You can easily search the term "coming out" to see what others have done.

Coming out as polyamorous, or as a swinger, or as gay, queer, kinky, etc., will be different for everyone. Is it necessary to tell your extended family you are dating/sleeping with someone else now, as well as your spouse? Why? Are you close? Do you need their approval? Do you want to bring your newer partner to family events?

Does your religious family put love first, or are they against anything alternative and not mainstream? How do they normally react to non-straight, non-"traditional" things, like gay people, divorced people, people of color if they're white, etc.?

 

[kdt26417]

Hello PiscesGoats,

You should be aware that many polyamorists refrain from disclosing their open/poly status to their family members. For the very reasons you mentioned in your situation. I am one of those polyamorists who is "in the closet," and I have no delusions about what would happen if I outed myself. It's unfortunate that our families won't keep an open mind, about something that really isn't their business. If you do out yourself to family members, at least clarify to them that you expect them to respect your boundaries. Good luck.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.