StumblingAlong
New member
Quick back story... last weekend both my partners told me I have to quit smoking. I get it, they care about me and my health. I agreed to quit. I did cave once and smoked. I told them and they got upset. Well we have this semi D/s under current to our relationship. Me telling them lead to me being "cut off" for 2 days. I was willing to accept that because honestly the mental aspect of that punishment was not a good feeling and not something I wanted to repeat and was good reason not to cave again. Knowing I had disappointed them both that much sucked. Except V decided to end the punishment early. I resisted his attempts at sex for a while and then finally gave in and we had sex.
Yesterday V and Tabs had lunch together. She ask him if he had ended the punishment. He told her no. She kept on him about it and he still said no. Last night I was on the phone with Tabs and she mentioned it to me saying she thought he had caved and ended the punishment. Then she point blank ask if we had sex. I'm not going to lie to either of them or for either of them. I had no clue he assured her he had not ended it. I answered her honestly and told her yes he ended it and we had sex. Well, now she is rather upset and I feel rightfully so. I'm kind of pissed myself. She isn't upset about us having sex. She is upset because she was lied to. I don't blame her. This is still a new relationship. Trust is still being built. He hurt the trust between them which is especially hard because he is her Dom. I'm pissed because I was put in a position that I am the one that unknowingly informed her he lied. I should not have been in that position. This hurt their relationship and in turn hurt the relationship as a whole.
She was supposed to be here this evening and tonight. Now I don't know if she is still coming. I don't know how things are going to move forward with all of us or if he can repair the damage he has done with her. He and I are solid. I'm pissed but I am forgiving. I will make sure he knows he had better not put me in that position again. She and I are solid and the trust between us is still there.
If she decides that because of this she can't continue her relationship with him or feels she doesn't want to continue the relationship between the 3 of us, I imagine it will affect my relationship with her to a degree. While I would be heart broken to know it ended I would understand. We have not spoken of love to each other, this is still new, but yes, I do love her. I do want her to be with us, from now on. She has quickly become part of me much the same way he did. I may be married to him, but the only difference I see between them in how I feel is that he and I have been together longer. She is my best friend like he is. They are who I feel completely comfortable showing everything about me to. They get the parts of me the rest of the world doesn't get to see or know about. Their are individual aspects to each relationship that are unique to each one obviously.
Right now, I don't know what to do. I can't fix things in their relationship. I can only try to do what needs to be done to keep my relationships strong with them. I don't know how to handle this. It efing hurts. I want to comfort her because I know it has hurt her. I want to prepare him for the storm that he has gotten himself in that's about to rain all over his happy little parade. I want to protect the relationship between the 3 of us, but all of this is out of my hands right now. What should I do in the position I am in? Should I step back and just let them work it out between them or should I try to help them work it out? This is so frustrating where I'm sitting. Advice is appreciated.
Yesterday V and Tabs had lunch together. She ask him if he had ended the punishment. He told her no. She kept on him about it and he still said no. Last night I was on the phone with Tabs and she mentioned it to me saying she thought he had caved and ended the punishment. Then she point blank ask if we had sex. I'm not going to lie to either of them or for either of them. I had no clue he assured her he had not ended it. I answered her honestly and told her yes he ended it and we had sex. Well, now she is rather upset and I feel rightfully so. I'm kind of pissed myself. She isn't upset about us having sex. She is upset because she was lied to. I don't blame her. This is still a new relationship. Trust is still being built. He hurt the trust between them which is especially hard because he is her Dom. I'm pissed because I was put in a position that I am the one that unknowingly informed her he lied. I should not have been in that position. This hurt their relationship and in turn hurt the relationship as a whole.
She was supposed to be here this evening and tonight. Now I don't know if she is still coming. I don't know how things are going to move forward with all of us or if he can repair the damage he has done with her. He and I are solid. I'm pissed but I am forgiving. I will make sure he knows he had better not put me in that position again. She and I are solid and the trust between us is still there.
If she decides that because of this she can't continue her relationship with him or feels she doesn't want to continue the relationship between the 3 of us, I imagine it will affect my relationship with her to a degree. While I would be heart broken to know it ended I would understand. We have not spoken of love to each other, this is still new, but yes, I do love her. I do want her to be with us, from now on. She has quickly become part of me much the same way he did. I may be married to him, but the only difference I see between them in how I feel is that he and I have been together longer. She is my best friend like he is. They are who I feel completely comfortable showing everything about me to. They get the parts of me the rest of the world doesn't get to see or know about. Their are individual aspects to each relationship that are unique to each one obviously.
Right now, I don't know what to do. I can't fix things in their relationship. I can only try to do what needs to be done to keep my relationships strong with them. I don't know how to handle this. It efing hurts. I want to comfort her because I know it has hurt her. I want to prepare him for the storm that he has gotten himself in that's about to rain all over his happy little parade. I want to protect the relationship between the 3 of us, but all of this is out of my hands right now. What should I do in the position I am in? Should I step back and just let them work it out between them or should I try to help them work it out? This is so frustrating where I'm sitting. Advice is appreciated.
